Ask any World Racer to talk about the parts of the Race that changed them the most, and you’ll be sure to hear the word community. Community is an essential facet of the World Race – living and working with a team of 6-8 other people 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for 11 months.
It’s in community that Racers learn some of our most important lessons, and it’s the lifelong friends we make that we remember with the most joy. But it’s not always easy. True community gets messy, and every team has hard days. For most Racers, living in community is both the best and hardest part of the Race.
This month we’re sharing a true story of World Race community – raw, honest, and uncut – every Wednesday. We invite you into our teams – our families – to experience life with us.
This week’s story comes from Daniel Stinson of the January 2010 M Squad. Daniel experienced something familiar to every Racer – team changes. It may not have been his favorite day of the Race, but it’s one he’ll always remember for the ways God has changed him because of it.
Life was great. I had a dream team – my three best friends and two other girls I loved dearly. I was growing in huge ways and God was revealing things in myself and about him that I had never known before. I was having tons of fun, everyday was better than the last. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. My World Race experience was perfect.
Then, the bomb dropped and my whole world came crashing down. I was informed I would be switching teams with another one of the guys at the end of the month. My perfect world, my dream World Race, dashed with the weight of a whisper.
It’s amazing the impact of something so weightless. In an instant, the one physical constant I had on the Race was gone. The people I loved the most – those who I have opened up to, been vulnerable with, invited into the secret places of my heart. Without warning they were all gone.
They say there are five steps to grieving. Denial, Anger, Sadness, Bargaining, and finally Acceptance. I went back and forth through the first four within the first two hours and then continually throughout the day.
First denial: “This couldn’t be happening, no way. It’s a joke, they have to change their minds. They absolutely will.” Then anger: “You have got to be kidding me. This is unjust, they wronged me. Why would they be so cruel?” Then sadness: Every time I let the thought linger tears would begin to roll down my face. And lastly bargaining: Man did I do my best. I thought I was pretty convincing too. Even now, I still don’t understand why the decision was made. But a conversation the next morning put things into perspective.
We aren’t always going to know the “why” in things. Sometimes people are going to wrong us, sometimes people hurt us. What matters is how you respond. I’ll be honest, everything inside of me wanted to make everyone else miserable like me. I wanted to cut down those who hurt me, I wanted to be exonerated from my punishment. I wanted to go to my new team and be a jerk. To tell them right off the bat that I didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to be on their team, didn’t want to talk or be their friends. I wanted everyone to feel the suffocating misery I struggled to breathe in.
Then in a moment the Holy Spirit came and reminded me what life is about. He reminded me of things I had prayed for: refinement through fire, dying to self, sacrificing my desires for others. And then I kicked myself for praying those things. He reminded me of my deepest desire – to be made more like Christ, to glorify him. He reminded me that I laugh at my high school self and how “important” varsity basketball was. In a few years I will laugh about how I thought my world was crashing down and how this was the worst thing that could ever happen to me on the Race.
I will laugh at the importance of this situation, but I will treasure the growth that comes from it. Years down the road I will chuckle at my immature response, but I will cherish the refinement of my character.
I don’t have to understand, agree with, or even believe that the best decision was made, but this is the lot that was handed me. What will I do with it? Continue down this path called life, marching in a triumphant procession towards our Promised Land, eternal life with Christ? Or, allow my flesh to overcome my spirit, and steal life away from myself and others?
I will choose life. Even though it sucks. Even though everything inside of me says I’m foolish. Even though my heart aches and the tears might roll, I will endure what ever challenge is thrown my way if it might exalt Christ in my life. It’s not easy and I won’t want it most of the time, but I have to trust in him who created me, who loves me, who satisfies me.So when changes come and your life seems to be crashing down on you, take a step back and grieve your pain. But don’t be like the Israelites who only saw their external circumstances and life’s difficulties. Look towards your Promised Land and recognize that every year you have on earth is a part of this triumphant celebration.
It’s easier said than done, I know. I don’t have this all figured out, and at times I still fall, but thankfully the Holy Spirit never forgets to remind me of who I belong to. No matter what team I’m on and what my external circumstances are, I know where my identity comes from, and I can be content in who I am in Christ.
