Caitlin Hennessy is set to depart on the June 2010 race. In the meantime she is doing all she can to prepare mentally, spiritually and emotionally. She reflects here on what she’s learned from her AA meetings and how she can apply that to the future. You can read check out her other blogs here.
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Powerless.
Step one of Alcoholics Anonymous says “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable”. Step one is not just for alcoholics. You can fill in the blank with just about anything. Step one is for everyone. The more I examine my life I realize my own powerlessness. This used to terrify me. Who wants to admit they are powerless and their life is unmanageable? Now my powerlessness is my saving grace. I realize more and more that I am not just powerless over alcohol. I am powerless over people, circumstances, well just about all of my life.
Life is wonderful when you realize your own powerlessness. It’s only when you recognize your need that change takes place. I couldn’t quit drinking until I saw I couldn’t solve this problem on my own. I couldn’t see God all around me until I realized my life was unmanageable.
I think a lot of us in the church forget this. We forget our need. We must remember our need. We are messed up sinful people. It’s not just those outside of the church that need Grace. We need it. Desperately need it. More than we realize. Newsflash regular church attendee you’re a mess. A beautiful mess, but a mess none the less.
That’s why I love going to AA. As I listen to the women who have been through hell and survived. I am reminded of God’s grace. As I see people who crawl into the meeting inches away from death celebrate years sober. I have hope. As I remember where I was when I first entered those rooms and where I am now. I see grace. The church could really learn a lot from AA.So church people I encourage you to embrace your powerlessness.You may not be an addict or alcoholic, but there is something in your life that is killing you. The truth is you’re not in control. Your life is unmanageable and you’re powerless. The key isn’t trying to be strong and find away to push through. The key is leaning into your weakness. That’s the beauty in Surrender. When you realize you’re powerless you reach out. When you finally hit rock bottom you will see that the power you need is found in Christ.
That’s why I am grateful I am an alcoholic. Being an alcoholic is what brought me to Christ. Being an alcoholic is what reminds me of my need for Christ. Without my weakness, I would not have seen my need for Christ. Brokenness leads to Grace and we all need Grace.As I prepare for the upcoming year my prayer is that I would focus on 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This is my prayer for you as well. My hope is that you will find Christ in your weakness. For when you are weak only then are you strong.
