Leah Malone, of the January 2012 C Squad, is currently on Month Eight of the World Race in India. In this post she reflects on the differences between her life of opportunity and freedom and the frightening realities that many Indian girls face today. Underage marriage is common in India, and Leah puts faces with the statistics.
When I was 13 years old I spent the majority of my free time captured by the drama of MTV’s Real World. I wore a hideous thick line of white eyeliner on top of my eyes. I had two chocolate fudge cookies and a Dr. Pepper for lunch at school everyday. I went to church mainly for the socializing and free donuts. And for years I told all my friends that my mom was the meanest mom in the world because she wouldn’t let me get my ears pierced or own a cell phone.
I look back on those gloriously awkward teenage years and can’t help but laugh- I was a sassy and rebellious hot mess. Praise the Lord for a praying mother! But there is one thing I’m so thankful for when I remember that time and it’s this: I was free.
Free to be a child or free to be a pretend grown up. Free to play outside and get dirty or free to stay inside and be a diva. Free to wear whatever I wanted…and if I wasn’t allowed to wear it that probably means I snuck it in my backpack and changed later!
I look back on those gloriously awkward teenage years and can’t help but laugh- I was a sassy and rebellious hot mess. Praise the Lord for a praying mother! But there is one thing I’m so thankful for when I remember that time and it’s this: I was free.
Free to be a child or free to be a pretend grown up. Free to play outside and get dirty or free to stay inside and be a diva. Free to wear whatever I wanted…and if I wasn’t allowed to wear it that probably means I snuck it in my backpack and changed later!
I was free to make my own mistakes and learn from them. Free to listen to my music way too loud and dance around the room like a fool. Free to save up my money for something fun. Free to try crazy new hair colors and play with friends’ makeup. Free to doodle my name next to his with hearts all around it in my Bible. Free to have slumber parties on Fridays and sleep in on Saturdays. Free to dream, explore, create, and ask lots of questions.
And as crazy as things were at 13…14…15…I needed those years.
Because now I’m an adult-at least I like to think so. And I still listen to my music way too loud and try new hair colors, and I still really love slumber parties. But I needed that time without all the responsibility and consequences of looming adulthood to discover who I am and what life is really all about.
Most girls in India don’t get that chance. The culture here isn’t set up that way. Its customary for girls in India to get married once they start their period. Usually the girl’s dad will have a friend whose son needs a wife.
Most girls in India don’t get that chance. The culture here isn’t set up that way. Its customary for girls in India to get married once they start their period. Usually the girl’s dad will have a friend whose son needs a wife.
Once the girl is around 12 or 13 years old (and sometimes as early as 6 or 7) the family will pay him for his daughter’s hand in marriage and their life together begins from there. She is now expected to cook the food, clean the house, work the farm, and start making babies. All this for a man she hardly even knows, if she knows him at all.
I met a woman the other day named Laxshmia. As I was sitting in her home I asked what I could pray for with her. She told me she has two sons- a 12 year old and a 14 year old- and she wants them to do well in school. She also wanted to pray for her husband who is a witchdoctor and idol worshipper. She asked us to pray for him to become a believer one day.
From the lines on her face and the stories she told us, I would’ve guessed her to be about 40 years old. But when I asked her how old she was, she said she is 24. She is my same age, and this is her life. This is her normal. You can do the math on your own and figure out how old she was when she got married…when she had her first child.
Thoughts flooded my mind that morning of all the contrasts between her life and mine.
Thoughts flooded my mind that morning of all the contrasts between her life and mine.
At nine years old she was getting into a lacy wedding dress and being handed over to a boy from a family of idol worshippers…I was getting into my soccer uniform and lacing up my cleats.
At 10 years old she was rocking her newborn baby to sleep…I was still sleeping with my American Girl doll.
At 12 she learned about baby number two on the way…I was learning my multiplication tables.
At 24 years old Laxshmia is exhausted and numb from the pressure of raising her sons, serving her husband, and praying for them to know Christ.
Today I’m counting my blessings. I’m thankful I have the choice of who I want to marry, if I want to marry, and when that happens. I’m thankful for my teenage years and the space I had to grow and learn. I’m thankful for my culture where women are good for more than just making babies and cleaning the house. I’m thankful for my 23-year-old life today–for both the responsibilities and the freedom.
I’m just…thankful.
