"And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment." Philippians 1:9
I've been noticing a lot of things in my bible lately particularly in the gospels and letters the apostle Paul wrote. I used to think people were just handed a large portion of a certain characteristic. For instance, girls just seem to be better at relational things, they just seem to have more compassion for people and they seem to love others more naturally. Men on the other hand seem to be stronger in other areas such as natural leadership, and other physical strengths. God is really showing me that to have a larger portion of something, I need to pursue growth in that specific area. I know it sounds elementary, but how many of us really intentionally seek to grow in our weaknesses?
I love this passage from Paul for a few reasons. First of all he is praying for the church at Philippi he's not just telling them how it is, he's encouraging them by letting them know he is praying for them, and he is also praying to God to help them to grow. Secondly he is telling them that here is an area that they need to work on, a weak area that need strengthened. He says, "I pray….that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every king of discernment." Paul is saying that love is a substance that can be increased in both knowledge and every kind of discernment. This is huge for me because I've had this twisted view of what love is based on relationships in my past and other circumstances that have shaped and molded my definition of love. But rather than just keep my portion or definition of love the way it is, Paul is saying that my love can and will grow in knowledge and every kind of discernment! This is good news for a person who isn't the most naturally relational person on my team or within my squad. I can learn and grow in loving them just as much as I love strangers on the street, my Marine buddies, or my closest family members.
God told me before I even arrived at the El Shaddai orphanage this month that He wanted me to be inwardly focused. He wanted me to focus on the relationships I have with my team and with those on the all girls team that are doing ministry with us this month. This isn't my most natural course of action.…at all. As a man who isn't super close to members of my immediate and extended family, nor having any super close friends, I have come to realize that a lot of times these relationships have suffered because of…..well, me. I am very personable and friendly and I have a lot of friends, but when it comes to deep and strong relationships and letting people be themselves and trusting them fully I tend to withdraw. God has kept nudging me this month to take more action in going after closer relationships with those around me. This isn't the easiest thing for me to do at all, especially with a mixture of 11 people that I am spending the month with. Looking back over the last two weeks, I've noticed that I have made small gains, and thats what counts.
Looking at this month as we are wrapping up our last week here in Swaziland, I have noticed a lot of my strengths and weaknesses in both natural and spiritual areas. I have also noticed a few different things that God has put on my heart for the people in my life and those I will effect with His love in the future. There has been a lot of souls searching so to speak in my life and I've noticed some interesting things. Some highlights I guess would be that I've had a huge tug at my heart to reach out to my brothers in the Marine Corps and veterans of all branches, I have learned to bond with the 2 other men in my team that aren't the normal kind of men that I would hang out with, and I've also learned that physical fitness is extremely important to me for various reasons including something I may have an interest in doing in the future. I know that I am training spiritually for events that will take place in the rest of my life, but the physical aspect of things have really got me curious as to what God is up to as well. I'm not 100% sure what I'm training for, but if anything, I know that God speaks to me through intense physical training. I have decided to continue a workout tradition for the rest of the race. It's a tradition a friend of mine Vincent and I did every week when I lived in Nevada. Every saturday I am going to do a HERO WOD(Workout Of the Day) and post the workout for those on my team that would like to do it as well. There are tribute workouts on this website that friends and family members have created to honor their fallen heroes. I have chosen to perform these workouts in memory of these fallen heroes and to pray for their families and loved ones while I am conducting the workouts. Todays workout was:
"Jason"
100 Squats
5 Muscle-ups(were replaced with pull ups because of lack of equipment on the race)
75 Squats
10 Muscle-ups
50 Squats
15 Muscle-ups
25 Squats
20 Muscle-ups
S01 (SEAL) Jason Dale Lewis was killed by an IED while conducting combat operations in Southern Baghdad July 6, 2007. We name this workout “Jason” in honor of his life, family, and courage.
In closing, this month has been challenging in terms of stepping out and purposefully creating relationships with people I wouldn't normally be friends with. It hasn't been easy, it's definitely not my forte, but I am reminded of what it takes to actually grow in love, understanding, and discernment. Just as muscles are built through being torn down and built up stronger, relationships are built through breaking down walls and rebuilding with trust and love. What God is teaching me through these relationships with my team and squad mates cannot be replaced by anything I could learn if I was off by myself. And although it isn't always easy, I welcome the challenge as usual and I see small but steady increase in the relationships around me especially with my brothers in my team. Hopefully at the end of this race I will developed numerous strong relationships with my brothers and sisters and will look back and see this as a time where God showed me that my love can grow in knowledge and in every kind of discernment.
