Here is the long awaited blog about my time in Nicaragua. If you read my previous blog, you know about my few days of debrief in Grenada, Nicaragua and my friend Juan and all the God taught me through him. That was just the beginning of seeing God in many ways.
Now our ministry this month was with an absolutely amazing organization called Vision Nicaragua. Please go check them out: http://visionnicaragua.org/ They are doing a bunch of amazing things for the Lord. More things than this blog post will talk about. However, one of the amazing things they do at Vision Nicaragua is develop pastors in all the different communities there and do door to door evangelism. Going into this month, I knew that this was going to be the main ministry we were going to be doing. And while I was excited for it, I was also quite nervous about it too. See, I love getting to talk to people about my relationship with Jesus, but I was nervous because if I am honest, I have never gone up to someones I have never met and straight up ask them if they knew who Jesus was. We just don’t do that in America. People don’t normally want to talk to random strangers that come knocking on your door, especially if it is about faith. Americans would think this is a way of trying to force religion down someone’s throat if we did that.
That is far from the truth for the Nicaraguan people. They loved that a group of missionaries would want to come talk to them and pray for them even if they had no relationship with Jesus. Whether or not they wanted love from Jesus himself, they all desired the love that we were showing them. Some people only wanted prayer and that was enough for them. Some people with tears in their eyes, poured their pain and suffering out to us. Some people just wanted someone to hold them close and bring them comfort. Some people needed encouragement. And best of all, some people surrendered their lives over to Christ!
My heart was broken this month for the people of Nicaragua, but it was also renewed as well. My heart broke for the men of Chichigalpa/Chinandega battling with the SugarCane Disease (The Sugar-Cane-Disease) and dying way to early in life and the government just brushes it under the rug. My heart broke for the mothers and children that have lost their fathers and husband due to the disease. My heart broke for those whose living conditions were anything but livable. And my heart broke for all of those that hold on to the belief that they have to be at a certain place in life, that they have to have it together, to have a relationship with Jesus. So many people we talked to and got to share the love of Jesus with said that they wanted a relationship with Jesus, but that they weren’t ready yet. I truly pray that we planted seed deeply with those people, and others would come along and water those seeds that one day they will realize they don’t have to have it all together to start a relationship with the Lord.
My heart was renewed by the people of Nicaragua. My heart was renewed through the children and their laughs and love that they had to share. My heart was renewed by the joy that some people had that could only ever come from the Lord. My heart was renewed by the faith in the Lord that some people had. That despite having nothing and having illnesses, their faith and joy in the Lord was far greater than I have ever seen. It gave me more of a desire for more of Him.
The Lord also was teaching me some very important things this month that He is continuing to teach me still. The first is about the Holy Spirit and how important a relationship with the Holy Spirit is. In my faith journey over the many years, without actually realizing it, I have only ever focused on building a relationship with God and Jesus. I only ever spent time in prayer with God and Jesus. Yes I believed that the Holy Spirit was present in our lives, but I never chased after a relationship with the Holy Spirit, never prayed to the Holy Spirit. I never realized the importance of diving into the Holy Spirit’s role in my life.
The first week or so of doing door to door evangelism I really struggled. Not because I was nervous or anything, but because I really struggled with finding the words to say to the different people in different stages of life. I tried so hard to come up with something good to say with all the right words. But whatever I said I always felt like it was empty and left with things unsaid. I was getting kind of discouraged with it all and then the Lord spoke to me through some of my squad mates and through His word. It was about chasing after what the Holy Spirit has to say to me and through me. To start diving into a relationship with the Holy Spirit and specifically asking the Holy Spirit to speak through me. And so I did and that’s when I started see a difference in my time doing door to door evangelism. When ministry ended for the day, I finally felt like I left it all on the table. I felt a difference in myself and in my faith. I’m still learning about the Holy Spirit and it’s importance in my faith and ministry. But Ya’ll, the Holy Spirit is powerful. I encourage you to dive into what that looks like in your life.
The second thing the Lord was teaching me this month and continuing to teach me is to be still. To be still and listen. I’ve always be one that my mind wonders off a lot. Wonders off about what’s next, what’s this person’s thinking, how do I go about doing this or that in certain scenarios, what’s after this trip, who am I going to marry, etc. None of those things are bad, but if they are stealing away from what God has for me now in the present, that’s when it’s not good. And for me, there has been a lot of times on this trip that I know I missed out on the the present because I was too caught up in the next thing.
Also in the midst of teaching me this, i’ve realized that for a lot of my life I have always tried to have the right answer for everything and quickly speak it out loud in whatever situation. I always felt like I needed to chip into a conversation. However, through the Lord speaking to me and through some feedback from others, I know I need to take a step back in that. That I don’t need to chip in in every conversation, that I don’t have all the right answers, that silence also brings wisdom. He wants me to just be still and listen. Now this is obviously not easy for me, but i’m trying and learning a lot through it. And I believe that God has so much more for me in learning this along with developing a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” – Psalm 46:10
“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” – Exodus 14:14
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” – Philippians 4:6
