It’s been a minute since I’ve written a blog, so this is just some revelation that I had over the weekend.
I’m someone that loves the presence of the Lord, I love the intimacy of it, but also the conviction that comes with it. If I’m being honest my hunger for it has not really been there lately. Between getting caught up with life, and preparing for training camp (which is 50 days away!), and fundraising, I really havent made time for Him. At church on Sunday we had a worship team day, where we came together as a team and just got to know each other better and have some time of worship to fill ourselves back up. We all know that after you pour out so much you have to be filled back up.
During one of our prayer/worship times, I found myself repenting of being afraid of the Presence. He took me to Exodus 20 when he appears on Mount Sinai in the form of a dark cloud with thunder and lightning and the sounds of rams horns. In this chapter the people are terrified of what they are seeing and instead of having a face to face encounter for themselves, they send Moses up the mountain to have the encounter then come back and tell them about it.
This is where I’ve been, I’m so comfortable on my day to day life and struggle that I’ve become afraid of what may happen if I get in His presence. My flesh will die, I’ll get convicted, but itll also bring peace, and hunger, and intimacy and new revelations of His love for me. Like why if this is why life keeps hitting me hard financially, and fundraising is not going well and everything seems to be falling apart? All because I’m too stubborn to get on my knees and go to Him instead of trying to figure it out for myself?! So now I’m committing to His presence, and not allowing myself to be like the Israelites and miss a chance for my life to be radically changed!
