11:11 Has often been a time that I just happen to check the clock during. Granted, it occurs twice a day but it’s always meant something to me. Whether it’s just me feeling like each moment it happens is neat or it’s really a way that the Lord communicates with me, the numbers have begun to take on a whole new meaning in this time of my life.
When I first heard about the World Race (from a friend who went a few years ago) I never had any intention of even considering it. I literally told myself that it was too much of a risk giving a year of my life away when I could be getting a good job, ministry position, meet my wife, etc. I would say “I’m not called to missions” and “I’m on a mission field right now”. While this was my mindset, I realize I have wasted a lot more time chasing things my own way here at “home”. That quoted home is gonna make it’s way back around soon. During the time that I thought I would be wasting on something like the world race, I chased something that I deemed as my very own calling, sought after a way to make money and set myself up, and was just “waiting” (very impatiently) for the Lord to bring my wife to me. I was comparing my life to my closest friends and those around me who seemed like they were getting the Lord’s blessing while I (Mr. faithful) was being forsaken. And then, I found myself in a very vulnerable spot.
For years I had been involved in youth and young adult ministries with my church and university, always deemed as a natural leader. I was getting pats on the back and convinced myself that as I continued to serve, I’d work my way up the latter into my own platform. It got so bad to the point that I noticed myself and others close to me, who I held dear and considered family, competing to gain recognition and an upper hand in the race for a ministry, label, and position. I was brought to tears in my car one night when I realized the condition of my heart and where I was in life. It broke me. I was hurt. I was disgusted with myself. I was tired of ministry, church, striving. That whole time I wanted to be the best leader who everyone looked up to and thought “this guy has it”. I wanted to get a platform and be a Pastor who people admired and loved listening to. None of that is necessarily bad, but it’s not the goal. Nor should it be the heart of any man serving in God’s Kingdom. It leaves you at a place that was worse than before you started moving that direction. This brokenness I had left me reconsidering the course and direction of my life.
Having a couple of close friends who are missionaries, I recalled conversations that took place where we discussed missions and the reason behind them. One of them mentioned that God called them to a lifestyle of Christ. One that starts with us being the church and not a building. Any Christian has probably heard this and has probably even said that before. But it’s different when you see it clearly demonstrated in an individual’s life. My other friend told me that it was the opportunity to pour our life at Jesus feet that was so beautiful. It wasn’t seen as a specific “calling” or personal “mandate”. It was seen as a chance to lay things down to Jesus in worship. It was lined up with the women who poured out her alabaster box at Jesus’ feet in the Gospels. That box represented her livelihood. Jesus saw it as a beautiful thing that needed to be shared along with the gospel (Matthew 26:10-13). In these conversations I agreed with their points but I would shrug it off in my mind because “I’m not called to that” and “I’m in a mission field” < (true, yet there’s more to it). At the low point I found myself in, however, I began to have this desire to search out God’s voice and heart on the matter before my own personal opinion.
I remember laying on my face and praying hard to hear the Lord’s voice and that he would reveal to me his will. I began to read scripture to get a better grasp on his plan for his body and the world, not just to get a sermon idea or hipster Christian journal entry. I also began to read John Piper’s “Don’t Waste Your Life” to see what he constructed between personal revelation on our purpose and a compiled list of scripture to confirm and connect it. During all of this, a common theme presented itself. I had always been taught and took the position that I have a very very specific calling and it needed to look an exact way. I had to clearly know that I knew that I knew it was God. Then I needed to move or I would miss it. It had to happen and I had to make sure it was the right thing. Some might say while reading this “I think that God does have a very specific calling for us and wants us to consider each step”. I don’t disagree with you. But this takes away the human aspect of our lives that God so intricately weaves into his word along with his mandate for his body. While God specifically calls us to certain things and places certain gifts in us, he has an overall goal for ALL believers. That goal is to reach the world with his good news by the mouths, hands, and feet of his people (Mark 16:15). He places these gifts in us and gives his body this mandate and then I believe he does something way more exciting and life-fulfilling than saying “the rest of your life you will be X and you will do A for T amount of years”. I believe that he leaves us with the choice to take steps while he holds our hand. As long as we have our hand in his and are seeking his guidance and will, I believe he prepares our way and directs us where he desires us to be (Proverbs 16:3 & 16:9). How much more enjoyment do you think God gets from his children when they choose to do something they don’t “have” to rather than if they just follow specific and strict commands? I know my biological dad is always filled with a joy and pride when I do something for him that he didn’t ask me to do. More so than if it was a requirement from him because it’s like a gift from his child. Life’s a journey that God has graced us to go on. A chance to CHOOSE to give him our life as a gift and sacrifice. Does he have a specific will for us? Yes. Do we have a choice with how we serve him? Yes. Does he make this work for his glory and purpose? Yes!
This revelation of God’s will for the earth and his people left me with a choice to make. Back to the World Race. I had it mentioned to me again and I very skeptically went online to see what was going on in connection with it. At the time, I had been in grad school (still am) and had a good job working on the marketing team for a Credit Union (still do). As I searched online, I encountered many videos with people praying over locals in multiple countries, helping build churches, playing with children, and skydiving. I thought “neat” but I’ve seen similar stuff before and I’m not the type of person that goes on these trips. They all feel comfortable in Chacos, wear bandannas, and are the “adventurous” type. I’m adventurous but not the give up a whole year living out of a backpack adventurous. I shrugged it off and continued on with my comfortable life, still seeking God’s direction, planning on eventually placing my feet towards some type of path.
I finally had a light bulb go out in my head when I grabbed dinner with a friend of mine a week later. We were talking about life and God and where we were at. He’s married and has a child (we went through college together). I remember recognizing where I was at in life and the two of us discussing it. My own efforts and choices had left me in no better of a place than I was 2 years before. I was 24 (still am), single (still am), had no debt (still don’t!), no ties (still none), and no real defined direction or plans. All I knew is I desperately wanted to live the rest of my life with a heart for God’s Kingdom instead my own. This friend of mine asked me why I wasn’t considering something like the race. “If I could have done one thing before I got married and had a kid, it would have been something like that. I would love to have had a year spent serving Jesus and focused on him. It would have even benefited our marriage early on.” I was shocked. I had treasured everything he had for so long that I never thought anything about my position in life was valuable. I quickly realized that I was exactly where God desired me to be and that it was a gift and opportunity to give more and more to him. I got back to my computer right away and decided I’d at least throw in an application and let the Lord direct my steps. It just so happened that the World Race is called the 11n11 because they send people to 11 countries over the course of 11 months. It also just so happened to be 11:11 as I went to apply. What a funny coincidence if that was all it was!
On the site, I saw that there were multiple routes as options but I already had in mind what I wanted to go for. The 10/40 window expedition. While I didn’t know much about the race itself, I knew plenty about the countries in the 10/40 region of the earth and the importance of going to these countries. They have the least access to the gospel in respect to how many people are aware of Jesus and the amount of persecution believers are burdened with. The route itself also calls for a higher level of adaptability and maturity than other routes. While I’m not the naturally yearlong adventurous type, if I was going to do this, I wanted it to be the fullest and most impactful thing I could do. So I sent in the application! I was filled with the most excitement I had had in a while when Adventures in Missions emailed me a day later telling me some of the ministries I would be apart of if I got accepted into this route. I’d be helping establish local Churches and supporting local ministries where there weren’t many believers. I’d be traveling to remote places and sharing the gospel with people who have never heard the name of Jesus. I would be living a life that emulates Jesus’ life himself! That email somehow caused everything to click within me!
Since that application, things could not have been more affirming. I got accepted relatively quickly, I kept seeing 11:11 when I talked to my coordinators or got messages from them, and everyone I am close with has confirmed that they believe this is what I need to do. I even need to give a shout out to my amazing work family for not only being understanding but for also supporting me in this! God has been so good in this process. There have been obstacles. There have been struggles and conflicting thoughts along the way. But the faithfulness of the Lord has been ever constant as I have walked along this journey, keeping my heart open before him. Going back to the “home” reference earlier, the Lord brought me to Hosea 11:11 one night after my acceptance to this trip. It says “They will come from Egypt, trembling like sparrows, from Assyria, fluttering like doves. I will settle them in their Homes, declares the Lord.” The Lord quickly revealed to me that a specific location, job, status, etc. isn’t my home. He is. Regardless of where I am or you are, where I am going or where you are going. You may be at a place of trembling or fluttering. Remember and align yourself back with the truth that the LORD is your “home”. I’m just bringing my home to the homeless 
. I’m so very excited to embark on this journey and to live my life more effectively for his kingdom. I’m just happy that it’s not something I HAVE to do, it’s something I GET to do. Talk to you soon. Say, 11:11???
