Big Question.
i will try my very best to answer this question in a way you can understand. However, guidance for the creator of the universe is something difficult to explain to say the least. That won't hold me back
Background:
This past year has been a TRIAL to say the very very least. Since January, i've had one grandparent die, one diagnosed with alsthiemers, I've been bed ridden for months only to be healed by a major surgery, and i've gone through the hardest emotional time of my life handling a breakup that I didn't see coming. Christ is all that has gotten me through this year, that I know. I've never been pushed to my limits this way before, and that's exactly what He wanted. Looking back now, even though i deal with all of these things daily still, His hand was on all of my struggles. If i hadn't been broken the way I was, I never would have left, i promise you. Christ has used this time to see where my strength comes from, I refused to turn to drugs, alcohol, and other void fillers of this world. My back was to the wall and He was my only hope, I wanted Him come through, nay, I needed Him to come through. So He did, as promised, why I doubt is beyond me, but I like all am often held captive by doubt. Forgive me.
Calling:
One afternoon I was gripped by Satan, lead to doubt my life, my relationships, and my God. I was taking a walk to rest my thoughts, but sorrow overtook. I wept, and when I say I wept, i mean i bawled like end of the notebook bawled. For those who know me I'm not one to let these emotions get the best of me, but on this day I simply could not shake it. Walking back home i saw my parents headed down the driveway in the car on the way to the local highschool football game. Them seeing my face immediately knew i was in rough shape, "Come with us" they insisted, but i withdrew not wanting to fake a smile for the night. They persisted and I caved. While at the game they introduced me to a lovely young couple, with an abundance of charisma. Me and the wife of the couple talked for what seemed like hours, about their life, mine, love, and death. Then finally we made it to the dreaded topic of my career path. I was clueless. It was tough to explain, I was at a point where I was becoming disscontent with money, security, and the 'American Dream', for reasons I couldn't explain. I had not prayed for the Lord to change my thought process on life in general, but low and behold, He took it upon Himself to change everything. Victory. As the conversation continued she began to tell me of this grand adventure a couple they knew had went on and how marvelous it was. Marvelous it is. The conversation stuck with me, a stranger at a highschool football game unknowingly changed my life, and the kingdom of heaven forever. Who believes in divine intervention? I.
From that night the Lord had a grip on me, unlike i've ever experienced. I became disgusted with the run of the mill life. Two kids, a dog, a wife, a pool in the back yard, and a steady income, sounds wonderful right? For a twenty years I thought so too, but that has changed in a way only He could bring about. I refuse to live in a way that when I am on my death bed I can pronounce that I have succeeded by living the most comfortable life possible. That is not success. So with a new outlook on life, this trip was without question what Christ has brought me to. He has blessed me with the ability, and honored me with the call. Who would I be to refuse?
All in all I hope with gave you an idea of how I have come to this calling. Again, and for the rest of my blogs, if you have any questions I will do my best to be transparent. Thank you all!
Ps. If you are interested in how Christ brought me to this way of thinking, you should read a book called Radical by David Platt. It isn't a book to be taken lightly, if you don't wish to be convicted, then steer clear.
