11. Asking People if They Speak English
There have been a lot of countries in which any conversation, request, or question have been preceded by asking, "Do you speak English?" It would probably avoid a lot of embarassment for me to start reminding myself now that people in the United States, do in fact, speak English.
10. Reacting Poorly When Asked "How Was Your Year?"
Ummm, "how was YOUR 2012?!" Kind of a big question, don't you think? Even if you haven't done much out of the ordinary, that's still a huge question. Please, try to be a bit more specific. And if you ask, expect a real answer. It wasn't "easy and great" and I'm not gonna tell you it was. If that's the answer you want, please refrain from asking at all.
9. People Not Understanding My New Lingo
This year has rocked my world spiritually, and as I've grown, God has brought different ideas, concepts, and practices into my life. Fully expect me to say things like process, prophetic words, and listening prayer. Feel free to ask me about any of them.
This year has also brought some crazy amazing people into my life. Some of those people have gotten me into the habit of using terms of endearment such as "bay" (instead of baby), "angel wings" and sometimes ridiculous things such as "fairy face" or "chocolate cheesecake muffin." The more ridiculous, the better.
We also over-exaggerate as much as possible. If someone walks into the room with mascara on, a common response could be "Oh my gosh, are you seriously America's Next Top Model?" Or if someone is going to play basketball, "Are you seriously Michael Jordon's nephew?" Yes, I am aware that these don't make sense. Don't worry, most of you will experience this when I get home, I'm sure.
8. Having Emotional Breakdowns at Awkward Moments
Let me save everyone a possible punch in the face, screaming fit, and a wet spot on the shoulder of their t-shirt. Please do not offer me any sort of curry or ask me to go and eat Indian food. Please do not offer me rice, or if you invite me over for dinner, please don't cook rice. If you ask anything about India or the riots in China or my feelings about pouring concrete, please be prepared that I might zone out for a few seconds, give you a blank stare, or burst into tears. Do not be alarmed, this is normal and to be expected. And just to be on the safe side, any question may result in one of those 3 responses. Be prepared, give me a few minutes, I will be okay.
7. Playing Charades to Order Food
I do the chicken dance to try to request chicken with my rice. I walk around the restaurant and point at a dish that looks good enough to try, even though I have no idea what's in it. Many times, I've walked right into the kitchen at a restaurant to try to point out and communicate what I want to eat.
6. Not Knowing How to be Really Alone
Everything that I've done this year I've done with at least one other person, but most things have been done with 5 or 6 but up to 45 other people. Everything. Bathroom trip? Take a buddy. Don't even think about walking to that corner store by yourself. Need alone time? Try the closet. Or the shower. I've learned how to be fake alone. Headphones, music, same restaurant but sitting seperately. Sometimes I even get lonely in those moments! But I can still wander into any room at any given time and there are usually 3 or 4 people in it. Sleeping in a bed by myself? What's that like? Not only my own bed, but my own room? A room, seriously JUST for me?
5. Having a Panic Attack in Any Large Store
You mean I can walk into one store and buy ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that I need? And not just something that is sort-of-almost-close-enough-to-make-it-work-but-not-really but I can buy the exact thing that I came looking for? And I can pick from 45 varieties? And I can go to check-out and swipe my card without doing any math conversions and get in my car and drive back home? And I can do all of this completely alone if I choose to? (See #6.) How is that NOT a panic attack in a bottle for someone coming off of a trip like this? I'm sweating just typing this.
4. Not Knowing Which Side of the Road to Drive On
As if readjusting to driving in general wasn't bad enough, (I haven't sat behind a wheel in almost a YEAR), I've spent about half this year riding on the left side of the road. The chances of me glancing up and all-of-a-sudden being in the middle of oncoming traffic are pretty good.
3. Giving Feedback to People Whether They Want It or Not
What do you mean, everyone does not want feedback? There are people who are not seeking so hard after the Lord and desiring growth that they want to know the moments that I see that are not reflecting Christ and who they truly are in Him? Well, tough cookies. Get ready, home, because you are probably going to receive feedback. Don't worry, you're free to give it to me as well.
2. Only Being Able to Eat Chick-Fil-A Once (the first week)
I'll be honest, I've had access to a lot more food (at least once) over the course of this year than I thought I would. I've had sushi, Pizza Hut, Hard Rock Cafe, and even Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream. The one food that I have not been able to have anything even remotely close to this year is Chick-Fil-A. (Which, of course, is my favorite food in the world. And there's something wrong with you if it doesn't at least rank in your top 5. Just sayin'.) Anyway, because of this and a lack of other foods (mostly dairy) that I haven't gotten a lot of this year that I'm probably going to over-indulge in when I get back, I am afraid that I will be so sick to my stomach when I get back to the land of deep fried and grease, that I'll only get one shot at a #1 with CFA sauce and a sweet tea before my stomach reminds me of all the rice and potatoes I've been eating this year. Shoot.
1. Forgetting That You Can't Bargain For Everything
Haggling with vendors is fun. I wish we would go back to this in the States. It gives a sense of adventure to every shopping trip you make. We have spent the vast majority of the past 11 months bargaining on almost every shopping trip we've made. They start by charging us at least 4x what it should be, and we get it down as low as we can before either buying the item or walking away. I am so used to this way of shopping that I'm afraid I may try to implement it on everything I have to pay money for when I get back. You want $4.50 for that cup of coffee, Starbucks? I'll give you $2. No, Target, I won't buy that toothbrush for $3.50. How about $0.75?
Oh, re-entry, you might just get me sent to the looney bin.
Clearly, I say these all with a sense of humor (although there is more than a little truth to these concerns) but I know that the upcoming transition is gonna be tough. This will be my 5th bout with re-entry, and I can't say that I've fared too well in the past. Not to mention that this time has been much longer, I've grown and changed more, and it's been harder in different ways.
There is a lot that I am looking forward to, but a lot that I'm scared about as well. Please keep me in your prayers during this time!
Blog by: Grace Hartmann
Photos by: ME!!!
