These past couple of weeks, I have enjoyed God revealing the goodness of his character to me. I always have talked to God, but I find Him answering my questions very literally. You might have seen my Facebook post about the answer for good food, meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Also, when we were in feedback a couple of nights ago; I was sitting there listening and praying and I began to wonder what my blog would be about this week. I just prayed, “God, can you just give me a topic?” Right away He answered me; He gave me the word, community.
Last month, I started reading Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Although I only got through the first chapter, the wisdom in the book really penetrated into my heart. Through everything that has changed in my life recently, I felt really alone last month. I struggled to enjoy the community that was around me. Because I was withdrawn and dealing with depression, I had trouble connecting with the people I was living with. There were people in the house that connected really quickly. What I realized as I was reading the book was that I was searching for and jealous for human relationships; I was jealous of the laughter and affection people had towards one another.
In the first chapter of the book, Dietrich compares human vs. spiritual relationships. I realized that I just wanted a friend who I could hang out with and laugh with when what God intends for us and what I truly long for are relationships that are uniquely dependent on Him. God does not call us to share alone in joy but He calls us to speak truth in love to believers we encounter whether that causes a deeper friendship or hurt feelings. We are not entitled to friends or companionship but rather have the ability to positively build each other up to further the Kingdom of God.
Feedback has been vital to our team’s growth. It’s an interesting form of building each other up. At training camp they taught us to sit in a circle at the end of the day to give positive and constructive feedback on the other people on the team. This process encourages honesty and discourages bitter feelings that can get built up over time. The point is to bring to light things that are visible in other people’s eyes that are hard to see in yourself.As Dietrich says in his book, “The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother. “ I hope these words can seep into your heart as they did in mine.
Baby Update: I am doing great. My strength is coming back and I've been able to work alongside the team more this week shoveling dirt and such. My email update this week said Baby C is now the length of a kumquat ( about an inch and a half). Continue to pray for patience with all the changes happening to my body, like a sore back and hips. Also, until we leave for Romania next Sunday, protection against malaria.
