Honestly, I’ve been staring at this blank page for around an hour having no clue what to write; but when the Lord puts something on your heart, you write. I feel like some people have the wrong impression about this trip, that it will be some nice, safe world adventure. I mean, it will definitely be an adventure, but it’s not going be nice all the time. I won’t be staying in some nice location, and for the most part, I won’t even have a bed. There will be some rare occasions where I will, but for the most part, I will be sleeping in a tent on my sleeping bag. I won’t have a suitcase full of my favorite clothes and shoes; I’ll have a backpack stuffed with a couple of shirts, a few pairs of shorts, a tent, and a sleeping bag. I won’t be living the high life in the countries that I go to, most days I’ll be covered in dirt and probably haven’t showered in a couple of days. I won’t be comfortable by any normal means, but I’m not called to be comfortable. I’m called to serve the orphans and the widows like in James 1:27. People always tell me to have fun on the trip; and of course I will, but that’s not why I’m going. Very few people have said to me anything about expanding the kingdom while I’m gone, and I guess that’s on me for not really saying what I’m going to be doing. The thing is, I also don’t know exactly what I’ll be doing while I’m gone, and honestly, that’s completely fine with me. I’m called to serve, so I’m going to serve in whatever capacity the community needs me to serve in. I may be building a church, caring for orphans, walking from house to house everyday, and it really doesn’t matter to me what I do, as long as I can live out the Gospel to my Father’s people. From what I hear, this will probably be some of the hardest couple of months of my whole life, and I’m fine with that, because that is what the Lord has called me to do. At this point in time, I’m called to go live in a tent for nine months with only 7 shirts, some shorts, and a huge backpack to my name. There will be times where I get to experience fun things with my team, but I’m not going to see the world or just get out of my house. Those things are just bonuses that come along with getting to serve my Father and expand His kingdom. I feel like this was just a little more of a rant than a blog post, but that is what has just been on my mind, and I like being real here. Sometimes me being real is having to pour my thoughts out, even when they are jumbled and sound more aggressive than I think.
Another thing that has been on mind for basically the past 6 months, is fundraising. If you normally zone out and click away at this point, I encourage you to stay for this one time. Fundraising is a big ball of stress, ask any person that has had to do it and they’ll tell you the same. It’s not easy, and when it comes down to days before a deadline you will never be more stressed in your life. It keeps you up at night; it warms your heart and breaks it at the same time. There are times where it is easy and the money flows, and then there are months where there is nothing and you feel broken and stressed. I underestimated fundraising when I first started asking for support, it was easy then. People were giving and everything seems fine. There were a mountain of names and numbers to ask for support from, and everything was great. But at this point it’s not so easy; you eventually hit a wall. All those names and numbers from before are gone, you run out of people to talk to and you begin to worry. You think there is nothing left to do, you’ve run out of ideas. But it’s in those moments that the Lord swoops in and saves the day. He calls someone to give, and they do! He knows just what to do, and it’s in His plan. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that the Lord has a plan for you, even when your whole squad is telling you so. People tell you that the Lord provides, and He definitely does, but after a month of nothing, it’s hard to accept that promise. When you’re staring at two numbers, one being your current amount and one being your goal, it’s easy to feel like you won’t make it. It feels like you’ve come so far and can see the end, and yet all the support of the people around you is going to amount to nothing. It is in this moment where you can choose to believe the lies that you’re telling yourself and give up, or you can choose to believe what your heavenly Father has told you. I have found myself in this moment of choice all the time these past couple of months, and some days it’s easy to believe in my Father. On the other hand, there are many days where I fall into the lies that I’m being told; that I’m not going to go. The thing is, I’m going on this trip. I’m going to serve the people of Ecuador, India, and Zambia, because the Lord has said so. The days of me saying that what I’ve been told by the Lord is wrong, are over. He has told me His plan for me and that is final. So yeah, I’m not at my goal yet and the deadline is in a few days, what’s the big deal? My Father provides for me, and He has called me to this point. So, if you feel called to give, that’s fantastic. There is a button at the top. If you don’t, that’s fine, the Lord has got my back.
I also want to thank anyone that has donated at this point, it’s hard at times to have a heart of thankfulness when you see that you are not at your goal yet, but I’ve recently come into that. Everyone that reads these posts, I’m so thankful for the fact that you would take time out of your day to read my thoughts. It’s astounding to me! Thank you all so much!
Blessings,
Tucker Stevens
