I have never had a fear of telling people I am a christian. It was always so easy and natural for me to say it. It hasn’t been until recently that I have started feeling a little awkward about it. I am scared of what people will think when I tell them I am dropping everything in my life to follow Jesus’s footsteps and travel the world for 11 months. Why all of a sudden is it so difficult for me to proclaim this?
I have come to the conclusions that I was never really much different from the world. That is why telling people is so awkward for me. I could argue that I was living different. I told people I was a christian and went to church. I always went to bible studies and even led some! Looking back though, I never went out of my comfort zone. I never pushed myself to do the hard things for Jesus. I chose sports over missions trips. I chose surfing days instead of feeding the poor at the homeless shelter. I chose sitting in a deer stand over visiting the sick in the hospital. Every time I had the opportunity to do something a little different or out of the ordinary I didn’t do it.
I didn’t know I would be scared of what people thought of me until I had to tell a very special friend about it. I had to tell her I was dropping out of school to follow Jesus. So many things ran through my mind. What if she thinks this is super irresponsible? What if her dad thinks that this isn’t a good career move if I ever want to marry his daughter? Ironically, she was the one that reminded me that I shouldn’t care about what her or the world thinks. She reminded me that we as Christians are called to be different. We are supposed to have people wondering what is different about us.
I now have the opportunity to be different from the world and I took it. I finally realized what I was called to do and stepped out into the battlefield. I should strive to be different in this world.
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17
