So this week my body had this awesome idea of getting me sick. I was more than thrilled to find out I have an intestinal bacterial infection. Haven’t left the bathroom much in 2 days. Lost 12 pounds this week because I throw up almost everything I eat. I also had a 104 degree fever for a couple days. Luckily doctor bills here are super cheap or else I would be broke and coming home. I am finally on some antibiotics and nausea pills so I can keep some food down.
The worst part though is being so far away from home being this sick. I have really struggled this week with missing home. Thank God for my amazing teammates playing mom or else I would have been more of a mess than I already am. And yes, I miss my Momma.
Luckily I had a great reminder this week from a book my dad bought me. It’s called Follow Me: A Call to Die. A Call to Live. I would highly recommend it. Anyways, in the book it talks about how when you become a Christian your life isn’t instant rainbows, unicorns, and pots of gold. Life will still be hard. Life will still beat you to your knees. Whether its sickness, financial, or anything else. Some of these situations make us want to give up. Throw in the towel. Run home to my mom. We forget we can trust Jesus in these situations. We can trust Jesus when we get cancer. We trust Him when we have a bacterial infection. We can trust Him when we are told our kidneys are failing. We can trust Him when we can’t see the end. I had to be reminded of that as I sat in the hospital twice this week. I had to be reminded of that when I had a 104 fever and I was puking my brains out. I was so convicted over how I wasn’t trusting God to take care of me just from something like that. What if I get cancer? Could I trust God then? I think it would be hard and scary but I am constantly reminded that God is ONLY good. Nothing He allows is for my demise. His glory will be shown in every situation.
There are two songs I have been listening to the last couple days and they bring me to tears every time. The first is Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. “…but the voice of truth tells me a different story, the voice of truth says do not be afraid.” I have constantly been searching for assurance and safety in other places this week. Yet, the voice of truth has never stopped whispering in my ear. He has never stopped telling me I am more than enough even while you’re sick and all you want is your mom. I AM your assurance and your safety. The other song is Not for a Moment by Meredith Andrews. “You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water, even when I could not see. In the middle of it all when I thought you were a thousand miles away. Not for a moment did you forsake me. After all, you are constant. After all you are only good.” How powerful is that? Not for a moment will you forsake me. It doesn’t matter what else I run too. He isn’t going anywhere. It doesn’t matter what happens in these next 11 months Jesus will not be leaving my side and anything that happens is for my good.
Just letting everyone know I am not the only person who is sick on my squad or team! There are a lot of people sick! One of my squad mates just had her appendix out! Please be in prayer for my squad! This sickness is not allowing us to do ministry and we want to get back to spreading the love of Jesus!
