Looking back on training camp, my least favorite part was one of the team building activities where we simulated a plane crash. Long story short, I lost my leg and couldn’t walk. See, this required me to rely on my team, not my own two feet. I quite literally had to depend on other people, which I hate more than anything. I fought this activity, snapped at my teammates and just generally didn’t do well with it.
Yesterday, I sprained my ankle playing basketball. So here I was, unable to walk, again, and forced to rely on other people to help me out. Dependence. If there’s anything that I fight God about, it’s dependence. I don’t want to depend on anyone other than myself because I don’t trust that someone else can take care of what I need done. And there are times that that includes God.
So I’m sitting here, hopping from place to place, forced to rely on my squadmates. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to just go for it, but the hill and stairs made it a little tough.
My welcome to the World Race seems to be a lesson in dependence and in trust. I know those aren’t things I’ve been very good about. Even these first few days, I’ve been slightly standoffish and not completely open to my team and squad. Part of me had been questioning my decision to follow the call I got from God to come on the Race to begin with.
In just 12 hours, though, I have learned that part of this journey is going to be trusting that God has put me here for a reason. And that He’s going to provide everything I need to get through this, including a squad and team that I can lean on when I need to.
He’s also going to provide the platform for me to learn what He’s trying to teach me. And sometimes, that’s going to be painful.
Here’s what is probably the biggest lesson I learned from hurting my ankle: I really do WANT to be here. Thursday I remember saying to a friend that I might have made a mistake, and that I might want to head back to the States. After I got hurt last night, and I was sitting in some pretty decent pain, my first thought was “Please don’t be broken, I don’t want to go home.”
The Race is not going to be easy. I can say that with some degree of authority after the start that I’ve had. But it’s definitely going to be worth the time, prayer and energy that I put into it.
That’s all for now. Talk soon ?? XOXO
