Pressing into Pain

There are a lot of  sayings that they use on the Race. And everyone seems to know them, but me. Which is fine. I’m a quick learner, most of the time.

 

I’m not going to use the terms too often because I generally despise assimilation. And I promised you guys honesty, which I wouldn’t be giving you if I started speaking in Race jargon.
But one of the ones used a lot at Launch (and probably at training camp, too, I just can’t remember that far back) is “pressing into pain.” Now, this is going to look different to everyone because we’re all at different places in our lives, and we all learn and grow differently. But it’s basically about stepping outside of your comfort zone and allowing God to show you something more and help you grow through what is probably going to be a very difficult process.

 

One thing that I hate is asking for anything. I will struggle before I stick my hand out and reach for help. This has often included help from God. I am so blessed, and I know this. As a result, I seldom feel it’s my place to ask God for anything for myself. There have been a few times, but only at very critical junctures in my life, things I knew at the time were make or break moments.
I’ve always believed that God gave me the gifts I needed to get by, upfront, and I should leave most of his energy to help people who really need it. Of course I know that God is omnipresent and omnipotent. But I figure even God can use one less thing to worry about.

 

Ok, so back to pressing into pain. When I tell you my foot hurts, I mean it. Ever since I was a kid, I wasn’t big on crying when I was hurt, unless it was really bad. I’ve cried at least twice because of the pain alone. It HURTS. But I’ve been trying to overlook it, work through it, etc.

 

Hint to present/future World Racers: That’s NOT what they mean when they say press into pain. There will be some physical stuff you’ll have to push through, like moving pavers and cinderblocks on construction days. Walking on a badly bruised, swollen, definitely sprained and possibly broken foot is not what they mean. Just as an aside. But I digress.

 

So I pressed into the pain the easy way. Put on a smile, hobbled from place to place and kept doing my thing. I’ll give you a guess as to how that worked out. By Tuesday, I was in so much pain, I was 97.3% sure Haiti would be my first and only stop on the World Race.

 

I was angry at God. I couldn’t understand why He would drag me to Haiti, give me four awesome days on the Race, and then let me hurt my foot. I showed up. I did what He asked, even though I didn’t really want to. So why couldn’t I just have a nice transition month?

When I took a second from being angry, I looked at some of the things I got to do, learn and appreciate since I hurt my foot.

The easiest one is my health. Generally speaking, I’m pretty good. I have all my limbs, most of the organs I’m supposed to have (story for another day), all my senses and everything is in good shape.

Two days this week, I got to work at the prosthetics lab here at Mission of Hope. Nono, who is the prosthetics technician, let me help him put together legs that some of the Haitian amputees use to get around. Having gotten a glimpse of how life in Haiti can be without use of two good legs, it was a blessing for me to get to help someone else walk. And one that I got to perform with empathy, not sympathy. I might not have lost a foot, but I got a small taste of how hard it can be to get around on steep inclines and rocky roads. And so I realize what a great thing it is to have a lab dedicated to bringing new life to people who have lost the ability to use their arms and legs.

Next up is healthcare. A few months ago, my mom and I went to watch the US soccer team lose one of its World Cup matches. A gentleman joined us at the bar table we were sitting at and talked to us about healthcare troubles in the US. Now, I know nothing about that because my dad has a great union job that kept us with awesome healthcare. I was astounded that people have to wait months for routine appointments in some cases. Having just dealt with the ridiculousness that is Haitian healthcare, I am more grateful than ever for the healthcare that my dad has provided me for almost all of my life.

I have a few more, but I’ll settle with three. The last one is patience. I’ve had to wait a lot in the last few days. For myself. For others. For moments when I could help, not hinder. But I’ve learned that in time, things almost always come around, but learning to wait for something patiently makes the realization of it that much sweeter. When I’ve waited impatiently, there’s never a blissful moment when the thing arrives or happens. I’m caught up in the “what took so long?” Not the “what a great blessing this is.” That is a lesson that I’ll be continuing to learn, not just over the next 11 months, but the next 11 decades (ok, maybe not quite that long, but you get the gist).

Psalm 37:7 says to be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act. Things worth having are worth waiting for. The greatest moments in my life have taken longer than I wanted, but I was always rewarded far more after the wait than I would have with a more instantaneous gratification.

It’s not easy starting the Race like this. Just like it wasn’t easy sitting out of Taekwondo or basketball or soccer practice any of the other times I’ve been injured. You wanna be in the game, feeling like you’re contributing instead of watching from the sidelines. But if I think about it, the times I learned the most is when I was just watching, not doing.  And then, I got to use what I learned when I was back in the game.

So this week, I’m gonna look a little harder to see what God wants to show me. My injury isn’t a setback. It’s a chance for me to press into a spiritual, emotional and mental pain, even though my injury is physical. And when I’m fully back in the game, I’ll have a little something extra up my sleeve. I’m just not sure exactly what that is yet.