One of the things we had to do during training camp was practice “listening prayer.” Catholic me had no idea what this possibly could have been, but that’s mostly because I couldn’t fathom saying a prayer and not expecting and answer back. All my life, I’ve said my prayers under the presumption that God would respond in one way or another. And in retrospect, it’s that attitude that set up the interaction I’m about to tell you about.
So our squad mentor, Erin, spent a few minutes explaining the basics of listening prayer, and then released us for about 10 minutes to give it a try. It basically entails praying to God, and then sitting to see if He sends you a response.
I went outside and sat down, and said my prayer. I tend to pray a little differently than most people I know. My prayers are just a conversation between me and God, and I talk to Him the same way I would talk to any of you. Or maybe more like I’d talk to my parents. All-in-all, it’s a very normal conversation.
Anyways, my prayer went something like this:
God, I don’t feel like you listen to me. I’ve talked to you a bunch, but I never
feel like you say anything back. It makes it hard to keep talking to you. I need
to know that you’re listening to me. I feel like I’m talking to myself here.
Now, there was more to it than that, including quite a few tears, but you get the gist. So I sat there for a minute, and then Chronicles 63 popped into my head.
For those of you who know a lot about the bible, you know that Chronicles 63 does not exist. However, if you add together the 1st and 2nd books of Chronicle, the 34th chapter in 2 Chronicles is the 63rd chapter overall. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a verse with that, so I had to spend 15 minutes or so reading the book while listening to the next session.
Toward the end, in verse 27, I found this:
because you have humbled yourself before me,
have torn your garments, and have wept before me,
I, in turn, have listened—so declares the Lord.
The calming shock that came over me is kind of hard to explain. Honestly, while I wanted an answer, I didn’t think I would get one. Maybe I didn’t think I deserved one. What makes me special? Why should God take the time to talk to me? Out of all the prayers and all the people and all the problems, why would God bother to say anything at all to me?
But He did. It was a small step to restoring the unyielding faith of the little girl inside me who believes without question.
God spoke to me that day. In a very simple, but immensely powerful way. I hope that He blesses you with a similar vision this week. If you’re struggling, I hope it’s just enough to keep you going. If you’re feeling great, I hope it’s enough to give you the strength to share your blessings. Whatever you need right now, I hope He brings it to you this week.
