A couple of weeks ago, I got malaria. It was an interesting week, but there was one moment in particular that I want to talk about. And it happened to be when I watched “42” with Margot.
Now this movie got to me in a lot of ways. But the thing that struck me the most was how huge of a role God played in the story.
From moment one, Branch Rickey was all about God’s importance in the process, even for something as simple as picking which black man he was going to bring over from the Negro League. “Jack Robinson’s a Methodist. I’m a Methodist. God is a Methodist,” he said.
Later, as he argues with the owner of the Phillies, Rickey tells him that Jackie Robinson being black isn’t going to be an acceptable answer when God asks why he wouldn’t let the Phillies take the field against the Dodgers.
But the one thing I loved the most was the line when Jackie says “God built me to last.”
God did build Jackie to last. He also built me to last. My race has had some pretty major ups and downs. From my foot to malaria to fundraising, I’ve struggled. And while I was in a lot of those struggles, I couldn’t see what I was learning or how I’d come out on the other side.
But last month in Malawi, something happened. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with this journey that God has sent me on. I’m diving deeper in my walk with the Lord, in my relationships with my squadmates, in my yearning for growth and passion and in my purpose for the rest of the race. Nothing has changed, but everything has changed. My fear of the next six months has disappeared and has been replaced with joy and excitement. Something so tangible that even those around me have noticed it.
I’ve taken my eyes off of myself. My wants, my ideas, my struggles. And I’ve turned and looked toward Jesus.
The week before we left Malawi, I was asked to preach at church on Sunday. I hate public speaking, but God shared a sermon with me months ago that I hadn’t yet said. A message for me to take to the nations. I talked about crosses. We all have crosses to bear. And in Matthew 10:38 Jesus tells us that if we don’t take our crosses and follow Him, we aren’t worthy of Him. Carrying a cross it’s not meant to be easy. For me, the race is a cross. And at times it has been very hard. But in my hardest times, I’m learning more and more to turn to God because at the end of the day, that really is the point. He wants us to lay our burdens at His feet so He can help us carry them.
I have found so much joy in knowing that God has my back. Isaiah 40:30-31 talks about how even the youngest and most energetic of us grow tired and stumble, but when we trust in the Lord we find strength. In moments where my patience runs thin or anger is my gut reaction, I’ve grown to a place where I seek Him out almost immediately, whether that’s in prayer or through His word. I couldn’t have said that a month ago.
Lessons come to us in all kinds of ways. This one started for me one Saturday night in Blantyre, Malawi when I was stuck in bed with malaria. I was not bitter. I was not sad. I felt sick, but not broken. And Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey brought me words that have changed my perspective and will probably change my life: God built me to last.
