I try to touch the world like you touched my life!!
This month my team has been in Jutiapa, Guatemala.
Jutiapa is known for being a dry place both physically and spiritually.
Ministry this month has consisted of going into schools and sharing our testimonies.
We have also been blessed with the opportunity to pour into the community around us relationally.
To be honest, I have fallen in love with these people!!
My heart is to love on and help touch the lives of people around the world like God touched mine.
I feel like I get to do exactly that here in Jutiapa.
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I want to talk to you guys about a heart issue I've been having.
At the begining of the month we spent some time in worship with Team Guatemala in Antigua.
Previous to this night, I had been carrying a giant secret.
Due to circumstances and opportumities back home, I wad contemplating going back to the states at the end of the month.
The problem?!?
I didnt let anyone know about my little secret. During worship with Team Guatemala, God challenged me to be honest with my squad mates.
He challenged me to be honest and then let Go of "home."
He challenged me to let go of a great season, and allow him to have control of this next one.
With tears in my eyes, I let go!
With a heart longing only for what my God wants for me…..
I let it go!
I let security, money, and the idea life go!
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Yet somehow I'm here in Guatemala… Feeling sometimes like I've been left at the altar…
I look at my support account, and cant help but ask God how!
How do I still have 4,000 dollars to raise when my deadline is in one week?
I cant help but ask why?!?
Why does it sometimes feel like im reaching out to deaf ears?
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I know most of you don't know me, snd your probably asking yourself why should I support this random girl from California….
I dont blame you for asking yourself that question…
Why should you support me… Im imperfect, I get angry, I mess things up, Im sometimes really insecure…
Why should you help keep me on the field?? The truth is I am all of those things… But they are covered in the blood of Christ.
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The truth is, I shouldnt be typing this blog.
I was living a lifestyle that would eventually lead to destruction.
But God met me 10 years ago in the middle of my mess.
He pursued my heart.
I felt unloveable and unreachable…. Yet he choose me!
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Everytime I check my support account, I fight the voice of the enemy that says….
Your worthless
No one cares
Your really not called
Where is your God
Your invisible
Your story doesnt matter
I fight because I know these are lies, but sometimes these lies seem easy to believe…
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4,000 dollars, God could eadily deposit that into my account…. However, I fully believe he delights in seeing his sons and daughters reach out and act as his hand and feet. you can count the people on my squad who havent met next weeks deadline on one hand. We started this race together, and firmly believe God has called us to finish it as a whole squad together. I pray that you would pray and seek God about how he wants to use you as his hands and feet.
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I've abandoned every selfish thought
I've surrendered everything I've got
-Audio Adrenaline
