The question that I’ve had to ask myself the most over the past year of my life: Is God worth it? Is following Jesus truly better than living my own life apart from him? Since the beginning of my walk with Christ until now I’ve constantly thought on this question. I’ve tossed and turned between either side, weighed the pros and cons, and deeply sought out the truth. In my life, I’ve experienced both sides of the spectrum. I’ve known days in the world apart from Jesus, and I’ve walked hand and hand with the Lord. However, in the time since I’ve started this journey that question has filled my mind. Before I give you my answer I want to share a little bit of my life leading up to it.
Before Christ:
In the years of my life when I turned away from Christ, I experienced many things. I lived as the “typical” high school boy did in our society. I was an athlete who defined himself by his ability and performance. My identity was dependent on my successes and failures such as making varsity, earning the starting position, or playing good in a game. This was the main source of who I was, it was very unstable. I was the partier who sought happiness through good times, alcohol, and girls. My worth was wrapped up in how many people I could impress, my joy came from a buzz, and my value came from what girls thought about me. I was never truly filled, I always needed more. I was living the high school dream right? I don’t want to limit it just to these days though. This could have continued into college, into life, and even all the way through to death. All that I ever received from these years was loneliness, depression, and pain. I remember one day it just wasn’t the same, I didn’t get the same feeling that I used to. I realized that all of who I thought I was, wasn’t there anymore. Football was gonna end soon, friends came and went, as did girls, and the parties just weren’t the same. I was missing something big.
Christ:
In the years of my life when I turned towards Christ, I have experienced many true things. Walking hand in hand with the Father has been the only thing that has ever brought me actual joy. No amount of alcohol, sex, or good times ever gave me a lasting satisfaction. I was convinced that it was always going to be a constant pursuit of the next best thing. However, since being in a relationship with Jesus I have found that I can actually rest in true joy. When I wake in the mornings I belong to Him, and that gives me peace. When I walk throughout the day, I belong to Him and that brings me comfort. When I go to bed, I belong to Him and that calms my spirit. I find my worth in who Jesus Christ is, and what he did on the cross. I discover that He is the very essence of my identity. I live in an unexplainable and unconditional overwhelming love that surpasses any other before it. I have access to the ear of the Creator of the universe at all times, to ask for anything or to just chit chat. I have hope. A hope that this life isn’t just an empty chase of money, success, and material gain that ends abruptly. Instead, I have an inheritance that is greater than anything any eye has ever seen. Most importantly, I get to have an intimate and personal connection with a loving, merciful, and awesome Father who put his Spirit inside of me.
Though my answer to the above question may seem obvious I want to describe the difficulty in it. In the before Christ days, I had an extent of comfort and security. Though I was miserable, it was easier to stay miserable and enjoy temporary relief than get uncomfortable. But that wasn’t living, in fact I believe it to have been worse than death. Back to the point, choosing discomfort isn’t easy. It is hard to pick Christ everyday over the comfortable world. This is why I have been swayed by both sides, never fully picking one. (In my days of walking with the Lord, the comfortable world looks a little different. I see it more as apathy or holding back, but it is just the same as any other sort of hinderance). Nevertheless, the question has been asked to me over and over again during the past year: Is God worth it? Is following Jesus truly worth giving up the world?
I can say with all of my being that following Jesus Christ is absolutely better than anything else I have ever experienced in my entire life. Easier, absolutely not, but better. There is so much more to life than what we can gain from the world. Being a son/daughter of the King is far greater than any other title we can earn. Walking with the Lord is an adventure, he takes you on a different journey everyday. Over all, where there is loneliness and pain the world there is love and healing in the Father.
I’ve opened up in this blog in hopes of portraying what it looks like to life both with and without Jesus in your life. My story is that of a glorious God, a scandalous grace, and a rough redemption. I was pursued relentlessly by the same God that is pursuing you.
Is he worth it? Yes.
