So I’m at training camp in order to train for the Lord’s eleven month eleven country mission trip that I will be attending. I wrote a whole blog about how hungry I am and other little things that I was currently vulnerable at that time, but I feel like God wants me to throw away that blog and write a new one about inadequacy.
I. Feel. Inadequate.
I haven’t read my bible much, I’ve never had a consistent relationship with God, and I have NO idea what anybody is talking about when they mention “I don’t want to be like… so-and-so from the bible”, or “It’s just like so-and-so from the bible”. I don’t feel like I have the knowledge to do this, nor the beliefs. There has been NUMEROUS times here (which I knew there would be) that I simply do not have the same beliefs and ways of worship of others… This is SO incredibly hard for me because I have grown up in church, and I have a very limited mindset. I need to realize that God is MUCH bigger than what I know him to be, God can do SO MUCH MORE than I thought is possible, and simply that God can be supernatural. That’s the issue at hand. Good thing the Lord is gracious and will be patient and help me through it, huh? J
God is teaching me that I don’t have to have all that knowledge in order to serve and worship him. Please pray for me with all of this!
My future squad is GREAT! Our squad is uniting so quickly, it’s going to be rough taking us apart into smaller groups. There’s not much personal close relationships at this time due to focusing on God, and everyone just trying to get around to build a relationship foundation with everyone.
Thank you guys for supporting me and I love you all! I will keep updating and let you know how everything is going J Things are insanely great though. I’m so happy right now because I am finally becoming the person I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be.
B SQUAAAAD BEST SQUAAAAAD!
