3000 dollars due in 2 weeks. 3000 dollars due in a week. 3000 dollars due in 3 days. 3000 dollars due in 2 days and I still need ONE THOUSAND. PLEASE DONATE PLEASE DONATE PLEASE DONATE!…… yeah, that's been me for the past two weeks. Thats ALL I've been thinking about. My LIFE has been revolved around this. Why? Because I cannot go without the money, so of course it all revolves around the money…. so that's what I need to be focused on… right?? no…. I'm quite ashamed at my behavior the past few weeks. I have been SO WRAPPED UP in the money and fundraising world that i've lost myself. I've lost all things good. I've literally balled this past week because everything's so stressful.
I was blind.
MAN, I was blind. I've been focused on MYSELF, and not what's important. I SAY I trust the Lord and he'll take care of it all… So why am I balling and worrying so much? I've always been a "Worry wart", as my dad would always call me, but to be THIS wrapped up in only MY problems, in MY financial needs, in MY to do list, in MY "need" list…. yeah, that's why I need to go on this trip. I have it so good. Wait til I see people starving and eating scraps in dumps, or children who provide for their younger "siblings" who may as well be their children. I am so selfish.
I needed a HUGE reality check. WHO AM I to turn this journey around and make it be about ME. This is about our LORD, our REDEEMER, our SAVIOUR, the PRINCE OF PEACE, the one who I have been "trusting".
"I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about you. It's all about you Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it. When it's all about you, it's all about you Jesus".
