This month has been quite the surprise thus far. Each month on the race is different from the other, providing its challenges and new lessons to be learned. What I have discovered this month is that I am delightfully human, meaning that I am learning that I am not perfect or better than others; that I am a messy situation that God is making clean. Our team is nestled deep within the city of Phnom Penh. Out my barred windows I see a sea of concrete buildings covering the horizon in all directions. Our team is confined into tight space with little freedom to explore. However, we are blessed with air conditioning, internet and western toilets. Even with those things I find myself empty. I have had to face my greatest fears and deepest anxieties head on. I feel like I’ve poured myself out and when I think there is nothing left in me to give or critique, I discover there is still more water to pour out from the cistern.
I’ve leaned on my father and Heavenly father this month and they have both listened to me more than spoken and I am okay with that. I have traveled the Christian path for decades now and there are no formulas, self-help books, daily devotionals or music that can cure or make things better. It is just God and I this month, and He has taken me into past memories and pushed me forward into new territories. He is making sure that I am not leaving Cambodia unchanged. This is what the World Race is meant for, to not leave this year the same man I once was.
I love God. I love his patience. I love his grace. I love his relentless pursuit of me. He delights in me and I delight in Him. God meets human. Human meets God. God makes human whole. That is what I am learning, to be Holy and wholly human. To be a man of God.
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