Maturity means admitting you weaknesses.
This morning I was reading out of 2 Corinthians and reflecting on last month in El Salvador.
Last month was tough for me spiritually. I spent most of the month feeling constant attacks from the enemy, but I could never pinpoint exactly how I was getting attacked.
It was hard for me to feel like myself. A lot of you know me as joyful, loving, always goofy, always laughing Trena, but more days than not El Salvador did not see that Trena.
I believe one of the things the Lord was trying to teach me was that it is more than ok for me to admit that I am weak.
“I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses…..But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:5,9-10
I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been too many times where I have boasted about my weaknesses. How did Paul do that? I mean for real.
Going into the World Race, I felt spiritually prepared for the most part. I was open to learning and growing, but honestly I had no idea how the Lord was going to do it. I admit that God has revealed a lot of pride in my life. I felt this need to be one of the strong ones. I felt that if I wasn’t strong, then something was wrong with me and that I couldn’t be used. I held a lot in. I took it quietly to the Lord, which is important; however, I know something amazing comes from being transparent with my brothers and sisters in Christ about how I am struggling. I believe God honors admitting weaknesses. He honored Paul that’s for sure.
The enemy was working last month. He had me convinced that I couldn’t be struggling with the little things. “You are supposed to be stronger than this.” The enemy had me believing that my team would look down on me if I admitted that I was struggling. But in reality, I know they wouldn’t think that at all. I know that if I would have went to them, they would have loved me and built me up. However, the enemy doesn’t want me to be built up. He wants me to feel alone. He wants me to feel like something is wrong with me, and that if I am struggling then I am not as strong as I should be.
I want to be transparent. Not just with my team, but with the world. I do not want to feel like I have to be the strong one all of the time because I am not. God doesn’t expect that from me. I have learned that I have to ask for joy from the Lord on a daily basis. I have to ask for God’s love to pour out of me on a daily basis. I have to ask God to use me to encourage others on a daily basis. Because the minute I think I’m an encouraging, joyful, loving person on my own without the grace of God, is when I realize I am nothing.
There is freedom in admitting that I struggle. God is calling me to depend on my team way more than I have before. He wants me to depend fully on Him, but He placed team Happy Feet around me for the next 11 months for a reason.
I realize part of maturing in my relationship with Christ means being so transparent with the fact that there are days when I am so spiritually weak that I need the love and encouragement from the people God has placed in my life.
Thanks to everyone who has been praying for Team Happy Feet! We are learning to genuinely love each other!
