Bet your wondering why I have a picture of all these books and movies…..well let me tell ya….
My prayer going into the Onething IHOP conference was, Jesus, I want to fall more in love with you.
Wow, I didn't even know what I was asking for….
What I got was a deeper revelation of why I want to love Him more. He is worthy of more than 30 minutes out of my day….He is worth so much more…
The focus of the conference was, Jesus, Our Magnificent Obsession. The first night, Corey Russell spoke on how we are a new creation in Christ. (If you get a chance, go to IHOP.org and click on Onething conference to listen)
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ…..For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people's sins against them." 2 Corinthians 5:17-19
I have read this verse a million times, but this time I got it! Thanks Holy Spirit. Father God wants union with me.
I know….you get it, right? You know God wants a relationship with you.
But do you really get it?
I was made for constant communion with God. You were made for constant communion with God.
Ok, so I have spent a majority of my life wondering, "God, what do you have for me? What is Your will for my life? What ministry do you want me to be serving in?" All good questions to seek the Lord's guidance on, but I never considered the answer would be, "Trena, I made you to worship, love, and serve Me."
What? God, I don't feel like I am DOING anything for you if i just sit and worship you. Let me tell you, that's a lie! Yes it's very important to share the gospel, to get involved and serve others, but it MUST come second to loving the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind.
I felt the Lord telling me, "Trena, I care more about the time you spend loving Me than the time you spend doing things for me."
My purpose in life is to love and worship Father God. That is what He has called me to do. That is what I was made for. I was made to worship Jesus!
Meditate on that. YOU WERE MADE TO LOVE AND WORSHIP JESUS.
This fascinating realization led me to asking, "Papa, what breaks my constant communion with you?"
Corey began talking about false grace, and how many believers ask the question "How close can i get to the line without crossing it?" He said anytime we hear the words, "it's not that bad" it's a lie from the enemy.
I thought, that's not me. I try to stay away from sinful things, like drinking, drugs, and sex before marriage. But then Corey said, "God wants us to say 'NO' to the movie we watch that causes lust to rise in us?" Whoops, I know I get tempted with lust after watching most chick-flicks. He said, "satan has used the media to deceive a whole generation of people with movies like Twilight and Harry Potter. There is so much darkness behind movies like that, but it's disguised as something that is ok." Whoops again, I am pretty sure I am one of the biggest Harry Potter fans ever. Ok Papa, maybe this is me.
He shared this verse in 2 Corinthians 7:1, "Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from EVERYTHING that can defile our spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God."
Don't you love when you have read a verse a hundred times, and then suddenly you read it and it's life changing. That's what happened to me. I guess i kind of always thought, well I know i need to strive to be more holy, but i don't think i can even get close to holy until i get to Heaven. I may as well not even try that hard, because there is so much darkness in the world. It's impossible.
But why would God put it in the bible if it wasn't something that, with the Holy Spirit's help, i could strive for?
That's when I had this strong desire to get rid of everything that defiles my spirit because that's what breaks my constant communion with God. Basically, I knew I needed to get rid of any movies, books, and music that aren't pleasing to Him.
ummm….God? I am pretty sure that's like more than half of my books, movies, and music. And the movies like "The Proposal," "Harry Potter" (ok, i know that one is dark), and Nicholas Spark's books AREN'T THAT BAD. There is that lie, "not that bad."
Then i realized that in Heaven, there will be no Harry Potter or Twilight movies. We won't all sit around God's throne to watch an episode of Friends with our Holy God. (I LOVE Friends by the way and had all 10 seasons) And my prayer is to bring Heaven down to earth, so why do I waste time with these things now?
Well, that's when I realized that a part of my flesh hasn't died yet. I know there is still more of Trena that needs to die but this is what Holy Spirit highlighted right now. For any of you that know me, you know that I LOVED Harry Potter. I had all the books, all the movies, had gone to the Hogwarts theme park. I LOVED Harry. I was crying and telling God, "Things of the world are fun. If i get rid of everything that defiles my spirit, that's like EVERYTHING." I told Him that it won't be enough for me to go home and say "Ok, i cannot watch these movies anymore." I pleaded for God to change my desires.
Papa, kill the part of my flesh that desires to be entertained by anything more than your presence and fill it with a deeper desire to love and worship you. Right now, I enjoy watching tv shows, and watching those chick flicks that make me want a boyfriend (you know what i mean girls), and listening to my Glee cd's. But what I love more than any of those is being in your presence. Change my desires Papa, to make the things of this world disgusting in my eyes.
Now I am not saying that if you watch The Proposal or Friends that you have committed a sin and should feel condemned. If you feel any condemnation from reading this please know it's from satan who wants you to feel like you are a terrible person. Father God wants you, regardless of the crap you have done. And I am not saying that watching a movie like The Proposal is even a sin. I don't know if it is or not.
Here's the thing, for me it's not just about not sinning anymore. It's not just about going to Heaven. It's not just about how many people i can share the gospel with. It's about living a life that pleases the Lord. It's about getting rid of anything that interrupts my constant companionship with Jesus.
You know those times at church during worship when you walk in the room and can feel the presence of the Lord. You come out saying, "That was so good. God's presence is just what I needed. I could have worshipped forever."
You know why His presence feels so good? Because that's what He made us for. And that's what we as believers will do for eternity in Heaven.
Papa, I want to be in your presence all the time. I realize that I cannot have both. I cannot have the things of the world plus your constant presence in my life. Let's be real, I can feel the presence of God while I am worshipping and reading my bible, but as soon as i put that Harry Potter movie in His presence leaves. "For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony can there be with Christ and the devil?" 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
I am still asking Papa what this new life is supposed to look like, because it is so unfamiliar to me.
All i know is that the day after I got home, I put all the movies, books, and music that would defile my spirit into a pile, which was almost all of them! And those of you that know me, for me to throw away all my Harry Potter stuff could only be done by the power of God and conviction of the Holy Sprit. Because I was totally that believer that said, "well, it's not that bad because it's not like I am going to go and practice witchcraft." The enemy tried to make me think I was being crazy. Some of my family didn't understand why i did this.
"Why don't you try and sell these things. It's proably worth a couple $100 that you could use towards your trip." It made sense in my head, but I knew Holy Spirit wanted me to throw it in the trash. He doesn't want anyone else to have it. So i thought. "ok it will be better when Papa supernaturally brings me everything I need without me having to sell this stuff."
So that's what I am going to strive for this year in 2012, a new approach to holiness. LIke I said, I still don't know how this will be possible. And trust me, it's still not easy for me to turn down watching things I once loved or still do, but I know it pleases Father God. His presence is better than any movie I have ever watched anyway!
