Papa, I really don't know if I am supposed to do the World Race. You know how hard it has been with past mission trips. I have an extremely hard time leaving the people I have met. I don't think I can do it 11 times. I don't think I can meet 11 different groups of people from 11 different countries and leave 11 different times. Maybe I am hearing your voice wrong….
My friend Hannah: "Trena, don't you think the Lord wants to show you that by yourself this would be too hard but with Him you can do it."
This is a conversation I remember having with the Lord when I was praying about applying for the Race.
And 13 months later, I have been to 7 different countries and am now in my eighth. The Lord has blessed me with amazing friendships in all 7 countries, and tears were shed when I left.
So here I am in month 8 in Kitale, Kenya serving at Challenge Farm, a ministry that reaches out to street kids.
There are over 100 boys and girls that live here at Challenge Farm. These children were living on the streets, some addicted to glue while others ran away from bad family situations.
But you never would have thought these kids had a rough past because their smiles spread so much JOY. The kids live here, go to school here, and go to church here. They live a life of community every day of their lives.
So it sounds amazing, right? If I were back at home and heard about a mission trip to Kenya to help street kids, I would be all over it.
But at this point in the Race, I have no energy spiritually or emotionally to make deep connections with these children. Because I know in 3 weeks, I will have to leave again.
There are 3 all girls teams living here on the property, and I LOVE it. I am staying in a UN refugee tent with 4 other girls. It feels like camp! We switched teams for this month only, and I absolutely LOVE everyone on my team. An incredible amount of life is spoken when we get together. All that to say, Iwould much rather stay inside our living area and spend time with these girls than go outside the gates to get close with kids I will leave in 3 weeks.
Then I thought back to my conversation with the Lord before the Race. And I know He doesn't want me sitting back in a tent for a month. He rerouted us to Kenya for a reason. This month at Challenge Farm wasn't in our original plans, but I know it was in the Lord's.
I was talking to my friend, Lauren, and she told me about endurance. This is like the 22nd mile in a marathon, and I have to dig deep to finish it out.
Right now I am too weak and weary to keep going and keep pursuing these relationships.
For those of you who have heard of the "Jesus Calling"devotional, you know that many times the day you read is EXACTLY what you need to hear. I love how the Lord does that. So I was reading on August 12 and this is a little of what it said…
"COME TO ME when you are weak and weary. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion, My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been."
And I read Isaiah 54:10, "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
And I realized that my being weak and weary doesn't disappoint the Lord. It actually does the opposite. When I admit to Him that I am too weak to keep going, it stirs up compassion in His heart. The Father's heart is moved in a way that He desires more than anything to help. WOW!
I have to TRUST in my Father to give me His strength, His desires, His everything. I don't want to just give up.
Please pray for us this month. Many of us are feeling the same way. I believe most of the apathy and exhaustion we are feeling is spiritual. There is definitely a spiritual battle going on in this place. Pray for children to be set free from bad dreams and any other lies the enemy is feeding them.
In the past 3 days, Father God has already given me strength to be present here in Kenya…He so rocks!
In the morning, we separate the kids into 4 different classes based on their grade level: music, bible, arts/crafts, and games. This week I am helping with crafts…here's some of their work…
Elvis drew a picture of the angel, Gabriel.
