Stuck in the Mud!!!

Me (on higher ground) after being stuck in the mud in San Juan, Nicaragua

    As we were walking back from visiting people’s houses in San Juan, we had to cross a creek. I was able to cross the creek but stepped in a pile of mud. My foot was literally stuck in the mud. The mud was so thick that my shoe came off in it. When that happened, the bottom of my sock became covered while I was trying to get free.   I needed help from someone else to get my shoe out of the mud because it was completely surrounded and I was on higher ground. 

   Our obstacles are like this- we can get bogged down in the mud or we can ask for help. Have you ever felt like you were stuck in the mud? Maybe you are experiencing that right now.  Maybe you are still in the mud looking for a way out. I have felt like I was stuck in the mud this past week.    

   The drastic change in ministries and contacts has been challenging for me. Last month (October), I was able to communicate with our contact, Tony, who was born and raised in the USA. We were working with kids and youth which I loved. We slept in one place the whole time. We would cook our own food. Our ministry was relationship based. 

   This past month (November) has been the complete opposite.   Our contacts Pastor Alberto and Joseph (who we have nicknamed JoJo) only speak Spanish and I only speak English. We worked mostly with adults. We also were doing door-to-door evangelism. We would meet people for the first time and either pray or preach to them. We also were preaching sermons to congregations. We would move every few days staying in people’s houses (total of 8 packing to move to the next town)- Diriamba- University, Rivas, Ometepe Island- Moyogalpa, San Carlos- San Juan, Diriamba- JoJo’s house, Beach house, Diriamba- JoJo’s house, and Candelaria. Our food was cooked for us by either the people we were staying with or the local churches- mostly rice, beans, and plantains. Our ministry was seed planting ministry- Ashley describes it as “traveling disciples-crazy.”

   Since these two ministries were so different, it was hard to come in and adjust so quickly. I struggled this month with the language barrier.   It was also hard since I had never done any door-to-door evangelism before. We were constantly traveling. This made it hard to feel like we made an impact since we could not see any change in the people we met. 

   I realize now that I have been “stuck in the mud” for some time. I did not even notice that my shoes were planted firmly there. I now envision myself as constantly moving my arms while the lower half of my body was stationary “stuck in the mud.”   I thought I was moving ahead but did not realize I was not getting anywhere. Maybe you are like me and did not even realize you are stagnant. 

   My mud came from a variety of sources. The language barrier was one of the ways I became bogged down. I have had a hard time feeling like I have had a positive impact this month. This is partially because we moved around a lot. Also, we would meet people for the day and then leave the town soon after. We also were working with adults mostly which is harder for me than with kids.   

   It is so easy to become overwhelmed by our circumstances. We look at all the things that are not going well than to focus on the positives. I realized that I had started focusing on these things instead of letting God deal with them. I thought I had given them to Him, but they kept coming back in my mind. The voices in my mind were trying to tell me I was not making a positive difference for God. 

   I have also struggled off and on with depression, loneliness, and feeling left out. This has made it hard for me to open up to others. I also had a slight problem with stuttering growing up which made me more introverted and quiet (so I would not stutter).

   During this debrief time, I had a day where I felt that worthlessness and loneliness come back again for a visit. I was also feeling left out. I remembered Ephesians 4:27: “…do not give the devil a foothold.” I realized this is what could happen if I didn’t change my thoughts. 

   I realized that I was relying too much on other people for my worth. Somehow along the way, I started caring more about the time I spend with others than with Jesus. I started thinking about how no human can be there all the time, but Jesus always is. I should be relying on Jesus. 

   On Debrief day, I immediately started praying and reading my bible. I told him all about my feelings of loneliness, feeling left out, and worthlessness. I started talking to Jesus (and listening to his words in the Bible) like he was my friend and the love of my life. After doing this for hours, I pictured Jesus there beside me. I started falling in love with Jesus in a new way. I felt a new FREEDOM that I have never experienced before. I am finally free of the mud that was trying to hold me down (ex: depression, loneliness, feeling left out, and worthlessness). 

   I have known about Jesus on a head level since I was in Preschool and have gone to church weekly since then. However, I now feel like I KNOW HIM on a HEART LEVEL. It is AMAZING!

 

   When my foot was literally stuck in the mud in San Carlos, I was able to get my foot free. Although I was able to get my foot out of the mud, my sock was covered and my shoe was stuck. Our problems can be like this. We can become free of being “stuck in the mud” but may still have some repercussions (ex: memories, etc.). You may also  need someone (besides Jesus) to help you get clean of the mud (ex: pastor, counselor for addictions, etc.)  even if you are already on higher ground.

 

                       

Our contact JoJo cleaning the mud off my shoe                                                   My sock covered in mud

 

   Are you stuck in the mud currently? The best thing that you could do is lean on Jesus when you are stuck in the mud. People and things (ex: food, drugs, alcohol) will not always be there. Jesus will be there at all times. He carries us when we can’t take one more step on your own. Spend time with Him the next time that you are “stuck in the mud” and He will help you get through it until you are able to get to higher ground.