I have been thinking a lot about vulnerability lately. We’ve been talking about it in debrief and practicing it among our teammates. Donald Miller talks about it in his book Blue Like Jazz, that I am currently reading. It often seems so daunting, but I am finding that ultimately it is so freeing. In his book, Don shares a story of a time he and his Christian friends set up a confession booth on a very secular campus, during a very worldly event. In summary, the booth is a platform for the small Christian group to confess their sins, and the misrepresentation of Christian “religion” throughout the decades. They humbled themselves before a group of people that assumed they were there to judge them. As a result, they were able to befriend many people that they wouldn’t have otherwise had the chance to. And as a result of that, bible studies sprang up for those that didn’t consider themselves Christians, but were interested in hearing more, as well as various other outreaches to the un-churched. It was a fascinating story for me. Here they were, trying to stand out among the non-believers on campus, and what did they choose to do? They brought out their crud and the crud of their ancestors and were honest about their mistakes.
Christianity is not a claim to perfection, so why do we often live like that’s what we are? I’m not saying to go out and be worldly, tossing caution and morals to the wind. I’m simply saying to fess up to what Christ brought you out of! While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. We have been made pure by his blood, but that doesn’t mean we always make the right choices. How can we expect to love the un-churched if we are classically trying to place ourselves at a higher level than them? How can we truly love even the other Christians if we are trying to cover our sins, and hide our pasts?
Under the gaze of the palm trees and the stars, and with the eyes of twenty-five of my peers on me, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I shared my own disappointment of a time that I misrepresented Christ beyond what I would have ever thought I would. I talked about how although I asked for forgiveness long ago, and am pure of those sins now, Satan is bringing them back to haunt me. It hurt to share a side of me so many of them were completely unfamiliar with…but let me tell you…it felt so good to have them pray over me; to be lifted up by my teammates and to be encouraged to cast out feelings of shame. Not only do I feel better about getting those things out in the open, but I feel stronger. Now I am not fighting those temptations on my own—I have twenty-five Christ-following friends praying for me and standing by me to fight off the devil and his ploys. On a spiritual side I have God to help keep me from repeating mistakes, but now I have a force on the physical side as well. I am not alone!
