In retrospect, a year ago I would never have dreamed I would be where I am right now—sitting under a carnival tent with 200 or so other young believers, ready to embark on, quite possibly, the greatest adventure of my life. I am a testimony of where God can bring someone.
Thinking back a bit further to senior year of high school, just over four years ago, I was headed nowhere fast.
Labor Day weekend of that year I forfeited a great weekend at a Christian camp in the woods with a small group of junior high girls for whom I helped lead a Bible study. Rather, than staying overnight with them in the pop-up camper, I had to go meet up with some friends for a “prior engagement.” Instead of spending a night of fellowship with an amazing group of young Christians, I chose to go have my first experience with alcohol. Although I did not get drunk, there was already quite enough for which to be disappointed in myself. I have told very few about that experience, though the word of it leaked out in less than a week—”and you may be sure that your sin will find you out (Numbers 32: 23b).”
I have felt a tremendous amount of shame for that night over the years. It was not only a selfish way to choose to spend my time as well as illegal, but it may even have destroyed whatever respect those young girls had for me. I didn’t want their respect for pride reasons, but so that they might desire a relationship with Christ. How deceived I was about my own state.
So for years I have had to deal with that shame, and the burden of not sharing it. No more! Now four years later, I am listening to some of the most glorious worship music—fully redeemed. God has brought me out of that guilt. He has restored my heart; has allowed me freedom in the truth of his son’s crucifixion. I apologize to anyone affected by my prior foolish decisions. I know they have not been the last. I ask every one of you to hold me accountable to a life of Christ; a life worthy of Jesus death.
