A few nights ago one of our team members–Deryck–pulled us leaders aside. He shared with us that while at the internet that day, he found out his girlfriend back in Canada had attempted suicide and was currently in the ICU. He later shared the same information with the team and we gathered around to pray for him. The following night during team time Deryck shared that she had passed away earlier that day. How do you comfort someone in that? We spent an hour or so praying for Deryck, hugging him, and crying with him.
Naturally, mourning this kind of loss with someone often brings up feelings of grief from out own lives. I know several of the team members were thinking of people they have lost in the past few years and experiencing the pain that came with that.
It’s hard to believe it, but a year ago this coming week marks the anniversary of when we got Moses. So while mourning with Deryck, I was also dealing with the raw emotion of losing Moses all over again. It forced me to think about how I felt when I was told Moses had died; how I felt while carrying his tiny coffin through the dark; how I broke when I left Phelile’s house that night. The pain came back like a flood and I wept until I had no more tears to shed. It still hurts very much to know he is gone. I hope never to lose that. You may think that’s rather masochistic of me to say, but it’s what keeps me from growing complacent. The brokenness I felt then and still experience today is what spurs me on; it’s what makes me want to help change the world. It causes me to want to spread awareness with a tangible desperation.
