As far back as I can remember I’ve heard people talk about experiencing our Father’s love. The kind of love that is unconditional, that has nothing to do with what I’ve done right or wrong; nothing to do with how pretty or talented I am; not the kind of love that you get from a relative. I don’t believe I’ve ever really understood that for myself until this month. Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I am not the first to volunteer to hang out with kids, to lead a children’s program, or be in charge of a Sunday school. In fact, the first two months of this race were pretty difficult for me because we did a lot with children. Despite teaching this past year, being around a mass of children intimidates and often irritates me. The children here are of a different breed, though. They are not clingy, although they hold my hand and plead for hugs and kisses. They have been so respectful to me. Several times they have gingerly taken my hand or arm, then looked into my eyes to judge whether it was okay.
I have been praying a lot over this for the past few months. Praying that God would break down the walls I’ve apparently built up against children, and remove the calluses. I want to love them, to spend time being free with them, and genuinely enjoying their company. Ironically, I experienced those things in Smile Village. It was around our second week here and for some reason I dove right in—God has broken down walls with such a force that I can hardly believe were my heart was last month. This small group of girls would not give me a moment’s peace, but they were not annoying, or pushy, or aggressive. They quietly followed me around throughout the day—mostly just curious to see what I was doing. At one point in the afternoon, I escaped to one of the houses, only to be accompanied by them a few minutes later. I set aside my journal and gave them my attention. They danced the “papaya” dance, sang a few songs, and did some acrobatic moves for me—my very own personal concert. I can’t explain it, but through the love they have shown me, a stranger, I have felt Christ’s love…like never before. It brings a smile to my face just thinking about them. I am glad those walls are being broken, because while they were up, I was missing a lot of God’s love.
