I’m at the last full day of Project Searchlight. I came here to see some friends, learn from people that I respect, and maybe, hopefully, get a leading for what the next step is. And though I have gleaned wisdom, ideas, and opportunities this past week, these were not the main thing I learned here.
And just like the moment when Tris Prior from Divergent “Says this isn’t real,” taps the glass, and then the cage is broken; I realized that what I thought was my reality– having to know what the next step is in serving God, acquiring full knowledge of my calling, and getting a job that will keep me afloat– is a mere dream, a distraction, compared to the living God’s priority.
It is to live a life knowing that I am loved by God.
If the ONLY thing that I do in life is believe that I am the one who Jesus loves, and love Him in return, then that is a life of the utmost worth to God. That is where freedom happens. The rest (calling, leading, etc.) will follow.
But as I have heard this week, it is very, very hard to walk a life being convinced that “I am the one who Jesus loves.”
Because it would change EVERYTHING.
I know it is hard for me! Because we doubt He is all we need, don’t we? “Yes you are here with me, but can you just tell me what I should do now? I know you want to spend time with me, but where should I apply for a job? Who will be my husband?”
It is simple, but hard to remember (especially in this society) that if Jesus was all we had, it would be more than enough.
We are a church of amnesiacs when it comes to remembering Christ in full.
On the race I wanted to read the whole Chronicles of Narnia, along with other books (I’ve read some seriously good books on this race: maybe I’ll list them out later). I tried to space them out, but found out that I left the last two books in the series for America. In the book the Silver Chair, Aslan (Jesus) puts two children on a quest to find a lost Prince. When Aslan first meets the children, they are up on a mountain in Aslan’s country (Heaven or a secluded holy place like the mountain where Moses spoke to God), and He gives children signs to follow on their quest. This is what Aslan tells them before He sends them down into Narnia.
“But first, remember, remember, remember the signs. Say them to yourself when you wake in the morning and when you lie down at night, and when you wake in the middle of the night. And whatever strange things may happen to you, let nothing turn your mind from following the signs. And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart, and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters. And now, Daughter of Eve, farewell….” – Aslan in The Silver Chair
I read this on the plane ride to America from Belize and I got goosebumps.
It is easy to get confused and distracted in this society. Too easy to return home and to return to old habits and old ways of thinking. Along with that came pain, real pain. I’ve been wrestling with suffering while clinging, grasping to hope. Returning home, and it not looking how you thought they would–or, sometimes, exactly how you thought it would–has been one of the most difficult challenges of this entire race. It has been HARD.
So in order to be prepared in any circumstance, I, Tori, need to remember and know my Jesus by heart.
These are only a couple “Signs” that we get from the Bible that we need to remember and tell ourselves daily.
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”
The hard, frustrating, and liberating truth; We don’t have to know all the answers. We don’t need to know why things happen. We just need to trust Him at His word and obey.
This PSL week said it like this: Would you rather eat and sit at the tree of knowledge (which is what Adam and Eve were tempted with) or eat from the tree of life, which is sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Jeremiah 31:3
“The Lord said, “I have loved you with a love that lasts forever. I have kept on loving you with a kindness that never fails.”
Psalm 46:10
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Be still, stop striving and stressing, and remember who He is and how much He loves you.
The biggest blessing that PSL has given me is this reminder of keeping that Heavenly perspective. What He taught me on the Race, of turning my gaze towards Him, was highlighted with a big exclamation mark this week. The real “race” begins now.
May the Lord awake in us what is asleep, and may we recognize Him and know the full weight of His love for us. And may we remind ourselves in the night, in the pain, grief, and confusion, in seasons with seamingly no end and no answers, that He loves me, He loves me, The King of Kings loves me…
And may we hear His whisper back, “I love you, I love you, I will always love you…”
And believe Him.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His Glory and Grace
