October 4, 2014
I am now 26 years old!
Last night, I was working on wedding details with my mom and sister, and glanced at the time on my laptop just as it turned 11:59pm. I took the next minute thanking God for this past year, and dedicating/praying in the next. I promptly followed that minute by skipping around in the Chronicles of Narnia and reading my favorite sections with the character of Lucy. 
She is one of my favorite characters, because of her heart, childlike faith, and how much she loves Aslan (Jesus)! I have always wanted to be like her, ever since I was a child, and it was a good reminder now. I also continued reading in the book The Hiding Place, which is a treasure trove: illustrations on the character of God, love in its most powerful forms, and hope in darkness. If you haven’t read it, you should do it quickly, and I dare you not to cry! 
All in all, a good way to start off the year of 26.
In all honesty, this past year was a rough one. It was a time of drastic physically change, emotional turmoil, and spiritual stretching. It was also a time of waiting in this state, and doubting if the moment would ever pass. The enemy discouraged me with hopelessness and stress about the present and the future; worst of all, I was also surrounded with people who were going through the same things. It seemed like the whole world was in pain, and that was all I could see.
Yet, when I also look back at this past year, I see that my Jacob time wrestling with the Lord had allowed me to finally surrender a few things, and my “Job” inquiries for me and the people around me, produced, not answers, but little revelations about God’s character. Jesus also set me on the path for the World Race, when I had a hard time seeing any future in front of me. I also see that Jesus has blessed me with quality time with good friends, especially when I was so lonely, and precious time with my little nephews. This has been the most time I have ever been granted to get to know these little dudes—play, dance, read, snuggle, and talk with them. And I am so grateful for that!
This past Sunday, our worship team sang the song “It is Well” by Kristene Di Marco & Bethel Music. I have been overwhelmed with preparing for the World Race, studying for a GRE test, my sister’s wedding, missing friends in Saipan, dealing with health issues, etc. When I began to sing that song, I teared up in practice and full blown wept in service! Something finally cracked and gave way in me, allowing peace in, and acknowledging where I am in Christ. Our assistant pastor got on the stage and reminded us ofMark 4:35-4.
35 As evening fell, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.”36 So they took him just as he was and started out, leaving the crowds behind (though other boats followed). 37 But soon a terrible storm arose. High waves began to break into the boat until it was nearly full of water and about to sink. 38 Jesus was asleep at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. Frantically they wakened him, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you even care that we are all about to drown?”
39 Then he rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Quiet down!” And the wind fell, and there was a great calm!
40 And he asked them, “Why were you so fearful? Don’t you even yet have confidence in me?”
41 And they were filled with awe and said among themselves, “Who is this man, that even the winds and seas obey him?”
It Is Well song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNqo4Un2uZI
The pastor asked us if we had been feeling overwhelmed with our own storms, and had doubted if Jesus was paying attention to us. Did He care if we drowned? Yes, He does care! He is in control and using everything for our good, even when we can’t see him through the veil of our struggles.“The waves and wind still know His name.” I thought this was a great reminder going through this time, and right before my birthday.
Just as a little side note, this past year has also been full of pressures of how I look and where I should be at this time of life. Putting aside the fact that beauty ideals change from culture to culture and even generations, God never, ever put importance on physical beauty. Not once. Physical beauty is hardly mentioned in the Bible; only the beautified character and soul of a person is lauded. So why do we, especially as Christians, still put so much pressure on ourselves to fit the current beauty fad? And why is there such a fear of growing up and, Heaven forbid, looking old? I’m only 26 but just in the past week, seven different people talked to me about the “trials of growing old”, even in when you are in your 30’s, and how the face in the mirror starts to change horribly.
Well, I don’t want to be afraid of getting old, even though it is difficult with our culture conditioning. God used both young and old in the Bible, and He will use you whatever age you are and however you look. God also adorned the aged with honor! Why can’t we do that? Why is there such importance on being young? I firmly believe that you don’t have to lose the good traits we associate with children: enjoying life, stories, and adventure; an open heart; having imagination; and using childlike faith, etc. You may have to remember to put importance on them or even fight to keep them. And as long as you enjoy this time of your life and use it well for Jesus, then we should have little regrets leaving that year behind and gaining a new one! Everyone grows old, and yet our culture would have us be ashamed for doing so.
Robert Redford is 77 years old. When he was asked about how he felt about his age, he said this: “We are in a country that spends a lot of time focusing on how to stay young and that doesn’t appeal to me. I like the idea of just maturing and going with what life gives you and that you wear it on your body. You wear whatever your journey has been.”
This past year I have had a double mastectomy and reconstruction, and I am losing a lot of my hair because of an autoimmune disease. My skin is fragile because of being out in the Saipan sun for two years. I already have wrinkles around my eyes that a Mary Kay consultant stated were “unfortunate.”
Well…
I would not give up my time in Saipan, or the friendships that I made there, for anything.
My surgeries and scars will remind me of how God provided great surgeons, a way for me to elude the assurance of cancer for now, and how God has been faithful with my mom as she struggles with cancer.
God may heal me and restore my hair, or may use it for some unseen purpose. Who knows?
I hope I gain many more smiley wrinkles! 
Those are only a few things that show what my journey has been thus far. 26 will be a great year!
God Bless!
Tori Thompson
PS. Thank you to those who have been supporting me! And for all of those living in the Clarkston area, go and eat at Chili’s on October 22! It is from 11am-11pm, and I will get 10% of the profits for the World Race!
