“Just breathe. Look forward, look at that small fish and keeping breathing. Don’t look around at anything else; don’t even look at your teammates. Focus on my creation of this small fish.” – God
Scuba diving has always been a dream of mine, and I never thought I would have this opportunity until I landed in Thailand. Of course, I signed up. A group of my squadmates were going and I was excited tag along for this new experience.
While on the boat, one of our instructors gave us a quick briefing about our scuba gear, breathing techniques and following our instructor at all times. I thought to myself, “This is going to be soooo easy. I am so ready for this. Bring it on.”
The staff on the boat helped each of us into our wetsuits, vests and weighted belts. They fitted us for goggles and had us sit in a row shoulder to shoulder with our tanks attached to our backs. When the boat stopped, they helped us up one by one and demonstrated how to hold our face masks and mouthpiece with our right hand while also holding our belt and vest pump with our left hand against our stomach. We each stepped over the platform while staring straight ahead.
Once in the water, my instructor chose me and another teammate to go down while holding onto a rope. I looked at her like she was crazy and said, “Uhm, can we practice some before we go down?….Maybe like breathing in and out of my mouth…”
She said, “No, just go down. You’ll be fine.” And she started inflating my vest so that I began sinking.
I was maybe three feet beneath the water while holding onto the rope with my instructor when I started freaking out. It was just too much for me too fast. I kept looking around at everything, wanting to take it all in, that I wasn’t focusing on my breathing. My ears were hurting bad. I mean BAD. I grabbed my nose and exhaled a small breath to try and “pop” my ears, but it didn’t work. My teammate was below me and he was doing really well, and I started to feel anxiety about not doing as well as he was.
My instructor saw all of the emotions expressed in my eyes and started to motion for me to keep my eyes on her. She pointed at my mouth piece to signal me to keep breathing. But I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust myself. I pointed upwards and shot back up to the surface. I couldn’t do it. It was too much. I wasn’t good enough.
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My instructor came back up to the surface with me. She told me to wait while she took my two other teammates down. When she returned, I told her what was going through my mind and that maybe scuba diving wasn’t for me.
She said, “You can do this. Just focus on me. Don’t look at anything else; keep your eyes on mine. Hold my hand and don’t let go.”
We went down a second time, and my ears started to hurt with excruciating pain (yes, they hurt SO BAD) again, that I wanted to go back to the surface. My instructor squeezed my hand, pointed to her eyes, and we waited there for a few minutes. We just held onto the rope, holding hands, staring at each other until I gave her the ‘okay’ signal that I could go on. Finally, the pain in my ears went away and we continued our descent.
When I stopped looking all around me at all the distractions (the fish, coral, other scuba divers, etc) and just focused on my instructor, I was able to calm my breathing, give my ears time to adjust and enjoy the moment.
What I learned in this moment is so relevant to our lives. When we stop looking around at everyone else, stop giving our time and attention to outside influences and instead focus on God, we can experience His peace and His love and just breathe. We can choose to not let anything deter us from keeping our eyes on Him and be rewarded with His calming and gentle spirit and find joy in the present.
And sometimes when God asks us to wait, we’re experiencing pain. We may be in the middle of excruciating pain, yet the Lord asks us to stop and focus on Him. Are we willing to put aside our feelings for God? Are we willing to push through the pain, not knowing the outcome, to seek God and see where He will take us?
