For the past 7 days my squad and I all drove out to Pattaya for debrief. It was a week much needed. It was filled with long walks on the beach, getting lost on a tuk tuk, refreshing coffee dates at Sketchbook Cafe (a.k.a my favourite place in the world), reconnection, new friendships and a crazy halloween party. It was also filled with deep conversations, tears, a reality check, and frustration. Throughout all of this, the Lord revealed to me that I haven’t been truly sitting in His presence and I need to let go of my distractions – surrender it all. It’s time to live a life fully devoted to living with the Holy Spirit and this is exactly what’s going to happen because that’s the reason He brought me here.
One night while walking to the beach I asked myself, “Why am I here?” and I sat there for a moment in silence and then thought, “I’m here because God called me. He sent me overseas so I could give this next year up to getting to know Him better, to grow in our relationship, to spread His love and make Him known. I came here so I could be like Christ.” …and then I realized I haven’t been doing much of that since I’ve been here. I’ve been too caught up in myself, in my personal struggles, in my selfishness rather than rejoicing in this incredible opportunity the Lord has given me. I realized I’ve been taking it for granted. I knew this was why He brought me here in my head but I didn’t know that in my heart…and then I prayed one of the most honest and hardest prayers I’ve ever prayed out loud. While gently splashing my feet on the shore I saw a bunch of birds fly across the sunset and then… I felt free. God said that it’s okay I lost track, He still loves me anyway more than anyone else could.
I sat there in awe at my Heavenly Father.
He has done so much for me and is always at work in my life.
My God is a god who never stops. Who never stops loving, who never stops caring, who never stops listening. A God that gives fulfilling blessings unlike this world. Nothing on this earth is eternal, all of it is temporary. This is why it’s okay to let go of these earthly desires and distractions. Because God is better. He’s better than it all.
Yes, I was in a spiritual battle between my flesh and my spirit and I know I always will be. However, I rejoice because the power of the Holy Spirit wins every time.
1 John 4:4
You belong to God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
10 DAYS UNTIL CAMBODIA
