Jesus wants ALL of me.
He wants my heart. My baggage. My worries. My fears. My past. My current. My future. My dreams. My whimsical spirit. My life.
He is going to stop at nothing to win me over. He is continually whispering, ARE YOU ALL IN?
The whisper remains constant. Especially as the Race approaches. The other day I was driving to the school I am student teaching at. I love it there and the drives to the school are some of my favorite parts of the day. Its in the early morning hours where Jesus speaks so much to me, and always in my car it seems. I think Jesus has a special spot in his heart for roads. I know that sounds silly but its true. If I think about it, it makes sense. He is the one who paved the road to eternal life and he is at every exit we can imagine. Every choice. Every option.
But as I was saying, Jesus, me and my car have many special moments. Ivy, my car, is a place where the Spirit of God, the open road, and my heart love to meet. Like I said, I think Jesus loves road trips more than we think and more than I give Him credit for. As I was sitting at a red light I kept thinking of how life tells us to constantly stop, stop to settle, stop to fix, stop to correct, stop here, stop there. So much stopping. Life makes it easy to say no because we always have a stop option. We always can choose to go down a different road, change lanes, and merge wherever. But Jesus, He whispered something different to me that morning.
While at that stop light, my heart started speaking. I love the moments when our hearts speak truth that we know is Jesus really speaking. My heart spoke this, and yes, I do believe our hearts can speak. They oftentimes speak louder than anything our mind wants us to think. My heart spoke this as Jesus swooped in and gave me the dose of wisdom and encouragement I needed:
“I am ready for life-changing, soul wrecking, and heart pounding growth. Through the ups and the downs, past baggage, hardships, and all that lays ahead because it’s all worth getting to know my Jesus better. It’s being ALL IN, where the true transforming starts.”
This word kinda knocked me off my seat, figuratively. I was like wow. That’s totally what I have been needing to hear, think, speak and act. Jesus knew that. He has known that all of these life experiences with the nations have led up to this trip. He knew my heart was stirred in India as I ventured to the slums and Red Light district to see Him working in a place that didn’t even know He was working. He knew my spirit was captivated on a small island off a Haiti where I fell in love with His people, His face atop a mountain as people sang in different tongues around me. He knew my limits would be tested as I traveled as a solo missionary to Central America for around 3 weeks and was surrounded by turmoil. He knew. He was shaping. He has been asking are you all in?
Are you all in to be wrecked?
Are you all in to be a part of the DREAM TEAM I have for eternity?
Are you all in for experiencing abundant life?
Are you all in to let go of you and embrace my face?
Are you all in to experience me, for me?
Are you all in for the purpose I have crafted for you?
Jesus, I am.
I am in for the good, the bad, the past, the future, the ugly, the beauty.
I am in for mistakes, learning, growing, and falling.
I am in for redemption, revival, healing, passion, and radical love.
I am in for adventure, heart cries, miracles, kneeling, community, and spirit-encounters.
I am in for YOU Jesus. All of you, for the cost of my life to know and live one with You.
For you, by your power, and with your help.
I love this passage of scripture from John, that Seth Barnes sent our team as we are preparing to leave in the upcoming weeks. This passage shows what real life looks like when we follow the Maker of eternity with each step He takes.
60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”
61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit[a] and life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him.65 He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life
I am going where the words of eternal life lead….and that means running towards Jesus with everything I have!
-V
