“You have to be perfect,” they tell you, “to be accepted in today’s society”. You have to have the perfect body, the perfect skin, wear the right clothing, and say all the right things. If our hair is out of place, we’re not trying hard enough. If our clothes are wrinkled, we didn’t put enough effort into it. If we don’t look like the girls in the magazine, we’re not good enough.
As a woman, I’ve struggled with self image. I’ve wondered why my smile wasn’t prettier, why my hair gets frizzy when it’s humid outside, why my hips are just a bit too wide for me to fit into a size 4 jeans, why I break out a few days every month, and so on and so forth. It’s almost natural nowadays for a woman to feel insecure about herself. We see pictures plastered everywhere telling us how to look and what to feel. We see images of what the “perfect” woman looks like, and we begin to compare ourselves to her.
When I was in my younger 20’s, I was told one day that anything over a size 8 is considered obese. I was taken aback because I am a size 10, but by no means am I obese. In fact, I am exactly where I should be. It seems to me that more often than not, obesity is determined by your pants size more than anything. If we don’t look like the Victoria’s Secret super models, we’re not good enough, we’re not beautiful enough.
As women we’re told that the picture of perfection is to look like a Barbie. A BARBIE! Gorgeous hair, a big chest, slim waist, long “sexy” legs, and petite feet. We strive for the image of perfection, and when we fall short we feel almost sub-human. We live in a society where our image means everything. Without the outward appearance, we’re a nobody.
Here is a picture of what Barbie would look like were she a real person. I’ll be honest, I’d rather look like me than her. ☺
I’ll be honest: sometimes I look at these “perfect” women and wonder how I can change myself to be more like them. But then I realize something: these woman aren’t real. They’ve been plastered with makeup, photoshoped, and then put through the ringer. The women we see in the magazines don’t actually exist. They’re fake! We are comparing ourselves to something that isn’t even real.
After realizing this shocking, yet not so shocking, truth, I started to ask myself a simple question: what is God’s definition of beauty in a woman? I studied the scriptures, and this is what I came up with:
Proverbs 31:10-31-“Who can find a a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her ahands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She ariseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the adistaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the apoor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her aclothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her aclothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of akindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of aidleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and abeauty is vain: but a woman that bfeareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
According to the Scriptures, a beautiful woman is one who fears the Lord. She’s hard worker, strong, one who her husband trusts, is kind, wise, etc.
1 Peter 3:3-5- Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.”
This scripture states what every woman should be striving towards: a beautiful heart. God cares more about what’s inside than out. As women of God, that should be our goal of beauty.
God’s definition of beauty seems easier and more acceptable. If I am going to be considered beautiful, I want it to be because of my heart, my servant hood, my kindness and love towards others. My outward appearance is constantly changing, and one day will die altogether. My heart, however, will live forever.
