Did you ever notice that sometimes
in life, the only way to get UP to where you want to be is to first go DOWN? Or
did you ever have to go backwards in order to get on the right path to move
forward towards your desired destination? Although we often don’t see it at the
time, its usually not what you find when you have reached the top or your
desired place in life that teaches you success, but its what’s behind you,
along the journey “down” before the one “up,” that gives you the keys to the
future for which you hope.
The more time I spend on the Race,
the more I realize the value of this roundabout journey. It’s these
challenging, indirect routes that God tends to lead us on to prepare us for the
calling He/She places on our lives. For me this year, I believe God is teaching
me how to be a leader… by teaching me more about being a follower.
Throughout
my time at Villanova University, I was blessed with some opportunities in
leadership for Campus Ministry activities. During these 4 defining years of my
life, God led me to dive headfirst into the undiscovered pool of my passion for
ministry. Not a day went by that I didn’t anticipate a future of
discipleship-based kingdom ministry with excitement. Never before had I
encountered such pure joy as I did in using the gifts God has given me to help people
find, develop, or deepen their lives of faith.
As
I was gearing up for the Race, I viewed this year of unlimited ministry
opportunities as another major piece of my training for a career of serving
God. Naturally, considering my experiences with leadership that led me to this
journey, I half-hoped, half-expected that God would put me in a position of
leadership. Why wouldn’t having more practice as a leader be the best way for
me to get ready to be a leader in ministry?
Nevertheless,
this year has opened no doors for me to take any (formal) leadership roles. At
the beginning of the Race, when I realized I wasn’t going to be a leader, I had
to reposition myself in humility to combat the influx of pride in me that
wanted to be a leader. I never felt like I “needed” to be a leader, because I
have always strongly believed in empowering other people to lead so they are
stretched by the challenges that come with that role, something I talked about
in a blog from the DR. Even still, I’ve had to struggle at some points against
the creeping thoughts of inadequacy as I’ve watched other people get
opportunities to lead. To be honest, I really don’t even desire to lead anymore
this year, as I’ve fully accepted this “downward” path of training that I see
the Lord taking me on, but its not easy for me to maintain the belief that God
has called me to be a leader in the future. Thankfully, in the last 2 months,
God has given me the best weapon to fight this doubt: Its the simple teaching
that, in order to be a good leader, we must first learn to be a good follower.
I
don’t really have much more to offer on this journey, but I am thankful to say
I’m thoroughly enjoying this time of following. I’ve been able to learn about the
many different leadership styles and perspectives as I sit under the great leaders
of the World Race. Wherever God will lead me in future ministry opportunities,
I know this year of “following,” both the Lord and my leaders, will be an irreplaceable
asset of experience for the work I will do. So let this be a well-deserved thanks
to all the leaders who are teaching me how to follow well during this
