Ministry is exhausting. I never thought sitting down talking to people would make me more tired than working in the fields. Our ministry here in China is to make relationships with college students and present them with the Gospel. Sounds easy enough, but this month has been challenging for me. For one, it sucks being rejected. Two, most of the guys here just want to make friends. The biggest challenge is that I realised that I act like a different person when I present the Gospel to people. I put on this businessman front. I put a smile on and even talk different. Basically, I’m selling Jesus.
All my energy goes into this show. I don’t know when I started doing this or why. I just know that I’m not myself when I put my “Gospel face” on. It’s frustrating. My intentions aren’t to sell Jesus. I don’t need to make following him any more appealing. He’s awesome as he is!
I think one of the issues is that we don’t have that much time here. We have less than a month. Some of these guys I’ll only see once or twice. I can’t waste my time just making friends with them. I’ve been given the privilege and authority to present them with the Gospel. That’s what I need to do. So with that in mind, I focus way more on the task at hand than the actual person. The burden for expanding the kingdom overshadows actually loving these guys. That’s not the way to make disciples.
Good think I have Carl on my team to call me out on this. He’s a good one. I’m going to take this last three months and more forward. I’m seeking the right balance in discipleship. I know it’ll come with time.
Much love.
