“I’ve got that excited scared feeling. It’s like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it’s 98% scared, 2% excited. But that’s what makes it so intense. It’s so confused; I can’t really figure it out.” –Oscar (Owen Wilson) Armageddon
This was the response Oscar gave to the question, “How are you doing?” while being strapped into a space shuttle. Although I am not about to rocket into space and save the world from the lethal blow of a meteor, I can identify with the emotional mix Oscar was feeling. I have only one week remaining until I leave for the Philippines and I’ll admit that my emotions have been extreme. One moment I am eager for this new adventure; the next I am in tears wondering how I will ever make it through the year.
I am grateful for the chance to visit new countries and to experience so many cultures. Yet at the same time, I am anxious about learning and conforming to social rules/norms. (Too many people have said to me, “Have you seen that movie ‘Broken Down Palace?’ Be careful!”-So not helpful.) My friends and family are supportive of the race but I know that leaving them for the year will still be difficult. I am glad to provide aid to communities in need but know that helping means learning the hurts and understanding suffering. I am excited to spend this year growing with God, but know that this will sometimes come through challenge and hardships.
With all this on my mind, I try to pack my bag and say good-bye. My head is spinning and my stomach is in knots. It’s so confusin and I can’t really figure it out. This last week will no doubt be intense–Am I excited, or scared? I am not sure.
