To finish this race or not?
I’ll admit the thought occurred to me several times during my month in Panama, month 6 of the race. Did I really wanna endure this for five more months? Surely not. I was done. Spent. Home looked pretty dang good right about now. My own bed. A nice warm shower. Clothes that were fresh and clean and smelled that way. Being able to drive. Watching Netflix. Meeting a friend for lunch…and then going home by myself because you don’t live in community with them 24/7. Hanging out with my family.
These are all the comforts that I miss. And they kept calling my name reminding me that they’re waiting for me. You see on the world race you can’t really get comfortable. Sure you may try to hold on to some comforts, but it doesn’t last for long. And then what do you do? Give up and go back to what’s familiar? OR plunge into the unknown with only one known that is for sure; that it won’t be easy, but it will be GREAT once you push through.
June 11 was a remarkable day for me on the World Race. It was a turning point, an awakening.
I was tired with everything and just wanted a vacation. My team and I had been constantly serving, and when we weren’t serving, we were working through awkward and tense moments. Was it really worth it?
I’ve never been a quitter, but it sure looked good at the moment. Why was I not waking up every morning with such love and enthusiasm and joy in my heart to serve Jesus? Instead I felt dread for what was in store that day, and what I would have to be doing.
This is not how I want to live the rest of my life, because this is miserable. Just coasting through life. Checking out and trying to push through.
I was stuck.
But the good news is that the Lord doesn’t let us remain stuck.
We had a pretty intense team meeting that night. We were all pretty much going through rough times. That was pretty evident, and because of that we all withdrew from one another instead of encouraging each other. I left that team time with a heart of despair. So even though it was around 11 or midnight, I grabbed a teammate, Joane, and ran down to the beach to cry out to Jesus.
When we got there, the waves were massive and the ocean was roaring. Lightning lit up the night sky matching the power of the waves. God’s power was on display in a big way.
I asked God what to do? I was helpless and broken and spent. I had no answers; no way out. But the Lord did. And in that moment amongst the beauty of it all, the Lord reminded me to praise Him, to worship Him! The answer was so simple. I wondered how I never thought of that, or why that wasn’t my first response. Jesus reminded me that night that this should always be our first response. Even in trials and tribulations and hardships and uncertainty. Or I should say especially in trials and tribulations and hardships and uncertainty. We need turn our face to Jesus, and we need to praise Him. To Him be the glory no matter the situation! Good or bad. Sucky or unsucky. Wonderful or terrible. Hard or easy. Complacent or comfortable. Praise Him!
So that’s what we did. As the wind blew and the waves crashed and the lightning struck, we stood with our feet in the sand worshipping Jesus on the shore. We sang loud, participating in the orchestra of the night. Our voices being carried away by the wind and disappearing into the sound of the waves.
While we worshipped, the waves kept crashing into our feet. With each wave, our feet sunk deeper and deeper into the sand. And the Holy Spirit showed me that the waves symbolize the challenges and struggles in life, while the sand represents my relationship with Jesus. Every time a wave crashes into me, just as with the trials in my life, they push me deeper and deeper into the sand…deeper and deeper towards Jesus. Therefore, I should rejoice in those sufferings, because it’s an opportunity to be pushed deeper and to get closer to my Father.
I am so thankful for what the Lord taught me that night. When things are hard. Praise Him. When you feel so lost and confused. Praise Him. When you have no hope. Praise Him. It was a definite turning point in my race. A game changer. May I never forget; the memory, the place, the person, the lesson, the feeling, the strength, or the hope, that no matter where I am at in life, in the midst of trials and challenges, praise Him always.
I’m going to finish this race. I’m going to depend on the Lord for strength to persevere, so I can truly allow the Lord to change me. And when I come to the end, the Lord will say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Because the last thing I wanna do is come home, and look back on my time during the race and regret.
Until the next adventure,
Teej
