Late one night in Costa Rica, a man named Jeff, who was eagerly awaiting the birth of his second child, agreed to come over to the Christian Surfers property to lead worship for my team. We were hungry for it!
I had realized the month before that I kept trying to change myself. I kept trying to fix myself. To be better for Jesus. To be better for my team. To be better for myself. I had all these things wrong in me that I needed to fix. I was so hard on myself, expecting to change over night and discouraged when that didn’t happen. There was no grace and only frustration accumulated inside myself, so that all of my efforts only made my problem bigger.
That’s when I finally faced this simple truth: I can’t fix myself.
I needed Jesus to accomplish the work in me. The weight I had been carrying seemed to just disappear, and as it fell away a new realization filled it’s place; it’s name was grace.
We began to worship with Jeff. As I worshipped, my spirit that had felt so caged and trapped, danced in praise and worship and freedom for Jesus! And my heart cried out to Him:
Jesus,
I don’t wanna walk through life alone anymore. I am tired of falling, and in my own strength, trying to catch and support myself. I am tired of reaching out to other things to break my fall instead of reaching out to You, my Father. I imagine myself walking beside You, so that when I fall, and I will fall, I will fall into You. Into Your strong arms that are already outstretched and waiting to catch me. But why wait to fall? I want to run, jump, and land in Your strong arms, so that You can carry me and together we can fly! Releasing all the weight and burdens, Your strength makes me weightless and free!
And I will rejoice in that freedom!
Amen!
There is so much grace in Jesus Christ our Lord.
So when you find yourself frustrated or discouraged with yourself…
1.) Lean on Christ
2.) praise Him for He is good
3.) remember He loves you
And
4.) as my girl, Benita, suggested, laugh at least once a day, and it can be at yourself. Laugh at your mistakes and try not to take yourself too seriously. You’re going to make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that you are a mistake. It just means that you are learning and that growth is good!
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
James 1:2-3
Until the next adventure,
Teej
