I think I’m writing this blog partly because I always want to remember this day and every detail down to what we had for lunch, but also partly because I need to write this just for me. To process the end of it all.
This kind of leaving is not a “see ya later.” It’s a goodbye.
I think we as humans choose to not allow ourselves to really feel the finality in that, because it hurts. Instead we adapt. We think ahead to what’s next. The next ministry. The next relationship. The next opportunity. We move on, focusing on the task ahead.
I know, because this is exactly how I live my life. I don’t really allow myself to grieve and process. I just move on and move forward thinking ahead, thinking about what’s next. Well the problem with that is you miss out on the present, and eventually it will come to bite you in the butt.
Live in every moment and recognize what you feel even if it hurts. That is what my friend, Casey, encouraged me to do. At the end of the ministry month in Bolivia, I started shutting down emotionally, choosing not to feel, preparing for what was coming next, as I usually do in my life. But this month, I felt. Saying bye to those girls sucked. Excuse my language. But it was hard.
The day we left, the Talita girls had surprised us with a going away party! But even bigger than that, God surprised us!
And here is how: We went to ministry that morning with nothing to do, because we had finished all our work the day before, and it was our last day. It was Friday, so we had service at 11 o’clock. About fifteen minutes before the service started, I was in the dining area talking with Benita, when Casey poked her head through the door and yelled, “TJ! Benita! Come here. Quick!” Now, I did not know what to expect. Maybe some food or something. I don’t know. But what I do know is that God completely shocked and surprised me in the most incredible and mindblowing way.
A week before, two of the girls had left Talita and went home. It was sad, but only because I wasn’t able to say goodbye. I had been praying to God that I would get an opportunity to say goodbye. Well, God hears your prayers and He knows your desires! He definitely answered mine. I walked into the office and there was Mika, one of the girls that I wanted to say goodbye to. There she was plain as day sitting on the bench in the office with her mom. I immediately ran and embraced her…and it was a while before I let her go. God really surprised me that day! I didn’t think I would get the chance to say goodbye, and He gave me the opportunity to tell her how much God loved her, and that she had the strength and the faith to continue on with the Lord’s help. Then we had to leave to go to the church service, and I waved one last bye to her from outside the window. And that was it. But that small moment, meant so much to me.
My team and Mika. The one holding the flowers.
The second surprise came after church. We walked into Talita, into the dining area, and there was a surprise lunch/going away party waiting for us. The table was all decorated with fine china, flowers, and a nice tablecloth. Coke lined the dining table and they had prepared my favorite soup, creamy squash soup, baked chicken with tomatoes shaped like roses, and a macaroni salad. The room looked so nice, and the food smelled so good. It tasted even better. And while we ate, the girls gave us little gifts they had made themselves, and they sang us a song they had prepared for us. We said our goodbyes, each of us crying. There was not one dry eye in the room. Then it was time for us to part for good. We walked out the door and immediately my squadmate, Sandra, and I doubled over and balled. Suddenly the girls came running outside following us out the door to hug us once more. To lighten our hearts, we sang Eres Todopoderoso, worshipping God for this moment and thanking Him for each other. Despite the tears trickling down our faces, we were smiling. And that was how we ended our ministry month, worshipping Jesus together. The love of the Holy Spirit overflowed and poured out that day.
I know I keep saying it, but it’s true. These girls at Talita Cumi have changed and impacted my life in such an incredible and amazing way. The going away present that they gave me was a beautiful soft pink handkerchief with words printed in Spanish saying that I had robbed their hearts. Well, they may have thought that I had robbed their hearts, but what they didn’t know was that they robbed mine as well. At first, I didn’t want to be in Bolivia, but God changed that, and then, I didn’t want to leave. I am so thankful that He did change my attitude; otherwise, I would have missed out.
Don’t miss out!
Until the next adventure,
Teej
