Ever since coming to Georgia, my clarity regarding where God is leading has been growing.
This week I went to a professional development class during lunch. Adventures allows the staff to teach on whatever topic they think would be valuable to people in the organization. Hope Mendola talked about exercising your spiritual muscle. She shared about how Moses was called by God to step out in obedience on the promise that He would free the people of Israel. Well Moses stepped out in obedience and at first things got worse for Israel and they weren’t freed.
That’s how I felt when I got home after the Race. I felt like He had promised a deeper understanding of the Kingdom, that I would discover more fully my place in it and grow in intimacy with Him. So when that had NOT been the result of the Race, I was pretty let down. It felt like at great personal cost I obeyed and instead things went downhill.
Moses probably wrestled with God when after that first step of obedience when things didn’t pan out. Israel was not only not free, they were worse off than before. Each moment though that God gave the promise, Moses had a decision to make about whether he would continue on or give up. Yet with each time Moses obeyed his heart was strengthened.
It was like that for me on this journey that has gone on for I don’t even know where to begin anymore. I suppose it began when I began asking Him if I was where I was supposed to be and He said, I’ll initiate the seasons of your life. So I waited and checked in every year or so. Then one day He said I’m going to do a new thing. I wasn’t sure if I believed it was Him the first time. Then I looked for this thing. By the end of that year I didn’t want to hear it anymore. But then at long last He showed me the next step – World Race. I was like really!?!? Are you sure!?!
Got Home. What the heck was that year all about??
Let me tell you, in this life of faith where you’re asked to take one step at a time, not knowing where it is all leading can be friggin uncomfortable.
God called again. This time to leave California and move to Georgia to work with Adventures… I really didn’t like hearing that! Thankfully He didn’t say it all at once. He nudged several times. Overcame my resistance little by little over the course of a year.
By the time Moses was stuck between the Red Sea and Pharoah’s army a work had been done in his heart, one that had supreme confidence that the Lord would rescue them.
During that teaching, God gave me understanding of the journey I’ve been on with Him. Over the years you get to where you wonder if He really cares anymore and you get so tired of believing. The ones who turn back often do because they don’t have the community speaking the truth and hope they need to hear. You need so much encouragement to keep going. There does come a day where it comes together, where you see where it was all leading, but it can feel like it’ll never happen.
If I would have stopped, said no, you let me down for the last time! I’m not going to listen to you anymore then I wouldn’t have seen this day. It’s hard when you obey and things get worse. When you hear the word and step out in faith and get bruised up and don’t see Him come through. It makes you want to turn back. It makes you want to say, I followed you and you brought me to a place that really sucked! But then you don’t learn, the lesson of faith if you do that. You don’t see the fulfillment of the promise.
I had to trust His leading and His plan for a really really really long time. But at long last I’m starting to understand why so many things happened the way they did. Understanding seems to always come only after obedience. And now for the first time in forever, I’m so excited for the future.
I have a plan for you
I have a plan for you
It’s gonna be wild.
It’s gonna be great
It’s gonna be full of me
