Welcome to the World Race bathroom
reader, Carribean edition. The World Race bathroom reader is a
collection of random facts and experiences that I’ve learned so far
on my travels. So whether you’re a missionary, going to be a
missionary or sitting at work, I hope you enjoy.
-
When asking for directions, you
will always get them even if they’re not correct. -
A chicken foot does not taste like
chicken, it tastes like bone and gristle. -
The only difference between mashed
potatoes and mashed yuka is, mashed potatoes are good. -
You can calculate how far a kid is
from the edge of the roof by timing how long it takes before the
urine drips off the edge. -
You can yell at a child, ignore
them and put up barbed wire, but really all they need to do is fall
through your bathroom roof and they’ll leave you alone. -
Breaking a girls heart through a
translator should only be attempted as a last resort. -
The main difference in fried
plantanes and fried yuka is three hours prep time. -
You can make people eat Play-doh,
just call it mangu. -
When riding up a mountain on a
lumber truck full of lumber, wear two pairs of pants. -
In the Dominican hot choocolate
involves: roots, cinnamon, crunchy balls, an unknown spice,
chocolate, excessive amounts of sugar and 3 hours. -
In the Dominican, shelling peas
involves a bedsheet and a 2 X 4. -
If you want a banana, hike up a
mountain 30 minutes…and bring a sharp knife. -
Don’t get sick, because the
clinic’s probably open but the doctor’s not there. -
Motorcycles are family vehicles,
taxis and cargo transport. -
Computer viruses have been known
to take over small villages without the aid of the internet. -
To calculate Dominican time add 30
minutes to projected time. -
To calculate Haitian time, don’t
bother asking just take off your watch. -
You know you’ve been away from
home too long when you do a double take when you see a white person. -
It’s never a good idea to day
dream while riding on top of a moving bus, power lines and tree
limbs can be detrimental to your health. -
Fish eyes are hard.
-
While at the beach in Haiti you
may find all or one of the following: cow on the beach, fishing net
in the ocean, piles of old laundry washed up on shoar and locals
bathing naked. -
Unless you have enough food to
feed all 200 kids at the orphanage for 3 weeks, do not feed the
kids. -
If a little boy is facing away
from the group he might be peeing, if one of his pant legs is hiked
up he’s definitely peeing. -
When using the bathroom in the
middle of the night, don’t be surprised to find a man with a gun
outside. -
Rain is exciting because showering
in the rain means water pressure. -
When a bucket shower happens more
then once a week, you’re extra clean. -
Do not put your toilet paper in
the toilet, unless you enjoy fishing it out with your hand. -
Garbage day is when you have a
full trash can, a match and half a dixie cup of gasoline. -
When approaching a 4 way stop, the
person that honks their horn and runs through it first has the right
a way. -
Just because kids and old ladies
can carry huge buckets of water on their heads, doesn’t mean that I
can.
Everything listed in the bathroom
reader is factual and has a story behind it. If you have any
questions about anything or are just curious about the story behind
any of them feel free to email me. Coming in 3 months…World Race
bathroom reader, Asia edition.
