For those of you who didn’t know, I’ve
been fasting from all food one day a week every week since I launched
in the Philippines. It’s been difficult but even though it’s only
been a month I’ve found it very fruitful. Today I woke up and
decided I was going to fast, I went downstairs and started talking to
someone and as they started eating breakfast I did too, completely
caught up in the conversation. I didn’t even know I had forgotten
about my fast until after I finished the meal. Then it hit me. I
felt frustrated, disappointed and defeated…it was 9 AM.
A good friend of mine, who has a black
belt in martial arts, once told me that when you see a great fighter
you’re also looking at a man who’s been beat up A LOT. It does seem
true that we learn more from failure then success. Since I had
failed so early in the day I just decided to fast the next day so I
could do it right. A little later in the morning I was spending time
with God and He says to me, “You know, you always do this�. I
then thought of all the times that I succumbed to temptation and
sinned, only to become defeated and instead of repenting right then
and there, I wallow in my sin for a time. I accept defeat and
retreat to the sin that I feel I rightfully belong to.
Because, in that moment, I’m no longer
a saint or a son of the King but a sinner…a lowly, depraved sinner.
Then, like the prodigal son, I would grow tired of the filth I was
laying in and yearn for my royal garments. To once again stand in
the throne room of my King instead of my self imposed exile in
darkness.
This was ground breaking for me. If
you had come up to me yesterday and asked me if I allowed sin to
defeat me and strip me of who I am in Christ, I would have told you
no. But now it’s like a veil has been lifted and I can think back on
times when I was walking in defeat. Sometimes it was for hours,
sometimes days, on occasion weeks and months. Regardless of the sin
or the scenario, it’s still the same story.
I continued listening and meditating on
this when I was reminded that it is impossible for sin to defeat me(2
Cor. 15:55-57). So then all those times that I felt defeated, I was
wrong? I was deceived into thinking I was defeated, when in reality
there is no way that sin can ever defeat me. Because of Jesus, the
best the enemy can hope for now is to make me think I’ve lost.
Like a cowardly and weak man who hides
behind his sly words. The enemy would tell me, “A son of God
wouldn’t do this. Go back to where you belong.â€�. But now I know
better. Words are all the enemy has, and I won’t leave my Father’s
throne room so easily anymore. Your deception of defeat won’t work
on me anymore.
