The
past couple of months I’ve really been struggling to put how I’ve been doing
spiritually and emotionally into words.
This is my attempt to do that, hopefully God will help me out with
this. This past month was an amazing
month of blessing for us in our ministry.
But personally I was fighting a battle in my head. This was our first month by ourselves, with
me as the team leader. It was different
because this was the first time we saw how our team dynamics had changed. I was already still learning what it looked
like to be the leader of team Manna, but on top of that my head was filled with
discouragement everyday. It wasn’t
discouragement from the team, or even me, but the enemy. Everyday they would fill my head with their
voices, “I can’t believe you said that!”, “You should have known not to do
that.”, “That one comment you made tore apart all your credibility,” “How can
the team respect you now?” Everyday was
a fight to hold onto the peace that God was with me through this new challenge.
The
passage that God kept leading me to was Phillipians 4:4:
Php
4:4 ESV Rejoice in the Lord always;
again I will say, Rejoice.
I always looked at this verse as a suggestion. But when I looked at it as a command from God
I started to ask how. How can you
rejoice in all circumstances? If you look
about 5 verses ahead he gives you the answer:
Php
4:8 ESV Finally, brothers, whatever is
true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is
anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
This also echoes what he says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 when
Paul speaks in military terms about taking our every thought captive. We must have the discernment and the
fortitude to recognize which thoughts are of God and which are not, and
disregard and dismiss the thoughts that are not of God as quickly as they
come. Wonder where this is going?
Your
mind is a battlefield. I’ve been told
that before and honestly thought it was kind of cliché. But it’s true. And to walk in joy and peace under any
circumstance not only makes our lives better and easier, it also is a blessing
to others. The light that God shines
into this dark world, through us, is made up of a lot of attributes, but one of
the brightest is joy. For us to come
into a situation full of despair with joy and hope we are showing the world the
strength and stability God’s grace gives us.
Because when we rest in God’s love and salvation there is always
something to be thankful for and rejoice over, even if it is simply the grace
and salvation that’s extended to us everyday.
So when I roll over and don’t fight for my joy not only am I robbing
myself of the joy that God has for me, I’m also not doing my part of casting
God’s light into this dark world.
Sound
hard? Uh yeah. I noticed so many times that I almost would
rather sulk in my despair then fight for my joy. But like anything else that God commands of
us, it is possible.
So pray
that God would show you the big picture.
That so many of His commands are not that our lives would be better, but
also so that others lives might be impacted as well. Pray that He would give you discernment to
tell the difference between His voice and the enemies and would grant you the
will power to listen to Him alone. And
finally pray for eyes to be opened to everything He’s done for you, so that you
will always have a reason to thank him and rejoice in Him. And thank God we have grace for all times I
fail at doing this!
