I’m sitting here on the back porch of
the YWAM base, that we’ve been staying at in Santo Domingo for the
last week or so for de-brief. It hasn’t been a very eventful
de-brief. By the rules of the YWAM staff we couldn’t leave the base
unless a YWAM staff member was with us, so there was a lot of
downtime hanging out in the house. But it was a pretty eventful week
for how God moved in my life. So if you would allow me to be
introspective and fill you in on what God’s been doing in me this
month and more specifically this week.
God had spoken to me at home before I
left for the race. He said that He wants to remind of who I was
meant to be. And I understood what He was talking about. I
understood that I had changed who I was to match what I thought the
world wanted from me. So I simply began asking God to help me
remember who I really am. So I would call this month the month of
re-awakenings. The first was when I went to the kids worship in
Haiti. Those kids were dancing and shouting to Jesus, and it was
amazing. It wasn’t long before I began dancing along with them and
having a very good time. And then before I knew it, I felt more
alive than ever. I remembered in that moment that I love to dance.
In trying to grow up and be a man and be a respectable man, I stopped
dancing. Now I remember how much I love it and how alive I feel. I
also now have a better understanding that God loves it when we can
have a good time and have fun in His name. I won’t forget how much I
love to dance again.
Some of you might not know this about
me but, I always wanted to be a doctor. Seriously, from the time I
was in 2nd grade to probably when I was 16 or 17 I was
fascinated with medicine and wanted to be a doctor. I loved to work
with my parents and friends and fix them up and research things that
were wrong with them and try to give them relief. And I’d like to
think I was pretty good at it too. So you might ask “Tim. If you
loved medicine so much and were so good at it, why didn’t you do it?”
Well I didn’t like school, and because of that I wasn’t very good at
school. And in case you’re not aware, most doctors have to do a lot
of schooling. And I was afraid. I was afraid I didn’t have what it
took and I went with computers. I was able to go to school for 2
years and get out. At the orphanage in Haiti and even in Arroyo, I
became the doctor. I got a pretty nice first-aid kit at REI and took
it along and currently its empty. The kids would bring me their
cuts, and scrapes, and infections. And I would nurse them and
bandage them. Obviously there’s not much I could do medically for
them, but it brought me so much joy to just comfort them and clean
the wound and bandage it for them. I don’t know if I will ever have
a future in medicine, but I do know I will have a future in helping
people.
Finally, I was working in the garden a
few days ago. I was pulling some weeds and I came across a wild
daisy. Seeing that brought a memory from long long ago. I
remembered being in the back yard of our old log house, and my dad
was mowing. I can’t remember how old I was but I was probably in 1st
or 2nd grade. I stood there over this wild dandelion with
awe. It was only a dandelion but to me at that age, it was a
beautiful and precious flower. I just knew in my heart that dad
could not mow this thing of beauty down! I can’t remember if I
talked to dad about it or not but the next thing I remember is that I
went back out and the flower was gone and I felt tremendously sad.
Now don’t get me wrong, I pulled that wild daisy. God wasn’t telling
me to defend the pretty flowers. But He did tell me that He created
me with eyes to see how beautiful and precious His creation is,
specifically His people. And with that He instilled in my heart a
desire to defend and protect that beauty. But unfortunately I’ve
lost those eyes but He wants to give those eyes back to me.
So, Gods been busy. I’m excited about
all He’s been doing in me. Along with showing me who I really am,
He’s been throwing some humility training and brokenness in there.
But through the pain He’s been teaching me how to praise Him anyway
and rejoice in my sufferings. I’m excited about what He’s going to
teach me next month. So Tuesday is when we begin traveling to
Cambodia so please keep us all in your prayers for safe travels and
that God would equip us for what He has for us.
