I know, it’s been a long time since my last blog. Don’t get me wrong…I love blogging. But things have been really busy. I mean that is the typical excuse isn’t it? No, if you want the real truth. God has been doing work in my life…major work. A part of me feels a little guilty about excluding all of you from it. I made a decision when I first started blogging to be as real as I could be with you all. The way I say it, I’m not my own. Which means I have no right to keep my successes, failures, wounds or other humorous blunders to myself. If I can have the courage to give them up to God, by His grace He can bless you through my life. But sometimes our stories and failures intertwine with others. And its hard to be open about yourself and not include the others.
Like I said God’s been doing work, but it’s involved people very close to me. Sorry to be vague, but it’s all I can say. But to go back to my point, I have missed blogging. A good friend has encouraged me to start blogging again. The more I thought about it, I think if I made myself do it, it could be good for me. So I’ll dedicate to you all to go back to the good ole days of the World Race and try to blog once a week. Maybe that way it’ll motivate me to spend more time with the Lord and actually have stuff to say!
The other night I was reading through 1 Timothy, and I came across 1 Timothy 1:16:
“But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience, as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.”
Grace is a big deal for Christians. If it’s not for you…then you need to read the Bible. But for people who put the foundation of their faith on God’s love and grace, we tend to have a pretty weak understanding of it.
We tend to think arrogantly of it. We think that we can earn it somehow by doing works or taking part of rituals that will please God and show him we’re good. Some people heap guilt and condemnation on themselves, thinking that by their suffering they can out do the suffering of Jesus on the cross.
We also tend to think very selfishly of it. We think that God gives us a pardon because he needs us for this ministry or that work. Because he would be lonely in heaven without us. Like He’s an insecure parent that we have wrapped around our finger.
Paul is acknowledging that he is the worst sinner. That he’s done it all. But God had mercy on Him. Not because He was so diligent with his quiet times. Or because he beat himself up over his past mistakes. He was merciful with Paul so that others would be drawn to the Father. So that others could be freed, and healed and dance and celebrate and give glory to God.
I’ve been astonished time and time again at God’s mercy and grace with me. He’s put me in situations where I have no idea what I’m doing. But I know that God has blessed me there. Either with the wisdom to make the right decision, or by just opening my mouth and Him putting the words there. But I’ve been a terrible Christian lately, but it all just reveals my misunderstanding of grace. It’s not about how good or bad I am, because I’ll be bad the rest of my life. When are we going to realize its about how good He is?
