This year, World Race partnered with Truett University to offer college credit for students on the field. When I decided to sign up for those classes to get some class out of the way for college, I didn’t think a few blogs would be stressful. However, it proved to be more challenging than I was expecting.
Just a few weeks after we arrived on the field, those class slide into my race. Spiritual Formation was my first college class. I didn’t know what to expect because I never did dual credit in high school. I wasn’t ready for the class because I didn’t know my days were filled with ministry and team time. The grade was one of the biggest things that scared me. Can my spiritual level be graded? What happens if I fail my first college class? Two day before the class started, I walked around the hostel complaining about the class, I even tried to offer it to someone else. I was looking for comfort from everyone, but it was never enough. That night I took those burden to the Lord. He made me realize the only thing that matters is would I be open and accepting about what the Lord wanted to teach me through the class? He provided an extra opportunity for me learn. This was what I came to the World Race for. I felt comforted in my heart through that. That’s when I realize peoples’ affirmation will never satisfy me. God’s the only one who could comfort me with affirmation.
In the progress of the class, I learned many other things that lead me into better understanding of God. Prayer was one of them. I was always ashamed of my prayer because it was very simple. It didn’t sound like a poem like I’d heard other people pray. I was afraid of the judgment from others. There’s nothing to be a shame of. I’m not scared of what others might think of me. My prayer to God is between me and him. God has done great things in my life, I’m not afraid to boldly pray to Him. I been practicing be the first one to pray when asked in public, it has brought me stronger confidence in my relationship with God.
My squad has mandatory devotion every morning to develop our relationship with God. There were two weeks where we had devotion at five-thirty in the morning. It has developed discipline for my time with the Lord. One day, I read the story, “The temptation of Jesus” for devotion. My teammate asked me about what the Lord had taught me that day, I told him I read about Jesus fasting that morning, but I didn’t really get anything from it. Soon as I said that, the Lord gave me the explanation of it. It stands out to me that Jesus wasn’t the only person who was quoting the scripture. Satan also did. Even Satan knows the scripture. It motivated me to memorize more of the scripture than him. “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11). That verse had motivated me to memorize the scripture so that I might not sin against him.
Fasting was one of the topics that stand out to me the most. By fasting, it can set our path back to the Lord. Distraction can often fill our lives, causing us to throw God all the way back in our mind. Through fasting, you replace those things that distract us from the Lord. Filling your mind with prayer and scripture, refocuses you.. “And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled, so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get” (Matthew 6:16-17). The Bible said not to put on a grieving face, looking for admiration from others. Fasting trains our mind to set our path back to God. We fast to connect with the Lord.
God was the first one to confesses his love for us and it is He who pursues us. Through his confession of love, we come to acknowledge understanding of his love. Confession is a way of telling God the things we did that are not pleasing him. To show that we are not keeping anything from God, being transparent with him. God already know before we even do anything. When we confess our sins to God, it shows that we want to make right with him.
Worship comes from the posture of our heart. It is the heat of praise and thanksgiving, to let God know that He is our fortress. We acknowledge that everything comes from him. The last thing we can do is give glory and praise to Him because all the things he has done in our life. Worship doesn’t have to be music that comes from a drum or guitar. Music is just one of the ways we worship the Lord. We can also worship him through nature, scripture, and art. In all the ways, we acknowledge the Lord for he is the provider.
My relationship with the Lord has grown a lot in the past few months. The Lord has taught me to walk by him through everyday life. To build intimacy with him by having the constant mindset of his presence. Another way I have developed my intimacy with the Lord is by listening to worship music and by meditating in prayer. By taking my worries and burden to him on an intimate level, it lightens our load. “The one thing I ask of the Lord is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and mediating in his temple” (Psalm 27:4). That verse spoke out to me because we get to delight in the Lord and mediate in his house.
Some of the concrete steps that I’m going to take is devotion. I’m still in the progress of discipling myself with morning devotion. I want to develop the habit of waking up in the morning and thirsting for the Lord’s the Word. I desire to have the mindset that I can’t live unless I crave for his word. Not just by reading his word, but also memorize the scripture and live it out. I can’t know the scripture and not walk it out. Let my action represent what is in my heart. Also, not letting the judgment of my simple prayer overwhelm me, preventing me from praying in public. Throughout my day, I’m going to pray for someone. For me, I don’t want to be lukewarm, by setting my mind and heart to press in more of Christ like.
Tikki
