For the past few weeks I have been struggling to see the Holy Spirit. I’m still trying to find the Holy Spirit in my life, even when He feels dead in my heart. I feel like I kind of left Him on the side of the road. This week we talked about walking in the Spirit, and I was thinking that my Holy Spirit fell asleep. I know He doesn’t fall asleep, but it just feels like it. Our discussion was over sermon on the mount, and in the sermon Jesus talked about nine different categories of people who are postured to walk by the Spirit. Each of those categories of people is blessed in different ways according to the way they are walking in the Spirit, and we each gave our own example of how we are walking in the Spirit.
This week I was worried about my class I was taking from Truett; I’m only taking one class and it starts this week. My ministry during this first month has been very busy and tiring, and I was struggling to find the time I needed to spend on my Truett class. I started to complain to my friend on my squad; I was seeking comfort, affirmation, and words of encouragement that I could manage this class and ministry. I laid down that night, still feeling stress over my class. I still didn’t have peace. I took my stress to the Lord, and He gave me peace. He told me that I let the stress of a grade take away from learning about God. Learning about God is what this whole trip is about, and this class is what I really want to do, even if I have to sacrifice to write few essays and cut some time from my team. What I’m really gaining from this class and this trip is the word of the Lord, and I’m excited with an open mind, and a joyful heart for this.
We run to seek affirmation from the world, and it is endless and only numbs your pain for the moment. Instead, we should meet the Lord in the midst of discomfort, because He is the one who gives eternal comfort. God taught me this week to set Him as the first option and the only, since He is the greatest comforter.
Ministry updates: Dining tables and playground have been sanded and painted. When we were sanding some of the rust off the metal playground, there were four layers of color that have been there for twenty years Agape’s playground has been repainted four times, and we painted the next layer. It makes me feel grateful. A same old playground, existed for years, those kids look at those as if those were new and improved. A simple color change, it changed their perspectiveand their mind.
Our next project was mowing the grass, which was about two feet tall. Their lawn mower was a visible blade attached to a wheelbarrow, and the weed eater was not plastic string but a spinning blade. I prayed every second there were no snakes living in that field. One day we rode of those bus to pick up kids from school, and I met a kid of my age. It was so awesome to hear their school day routine, they had more exciting things happen than my homeschool life. Through our past two weeks of working at Agape, I learn that the Lord is my comforter, and that He cares even when I seek affirmation from the world.
Tikki Jack
